Depressed, Alone, and Broken

I'm so sorry

I know I'm moody,

I know I'm unstable,

And depressed,

And just fucked up,

And I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry that I'm either way too emotional,

Or completely emotionless.

I'm so sorry that I can never make up my mind,

That I'm so damn indecisive.

I'm so fucking sorry that I don't believe in myself,

That I hate myself,

That I can't be who I want to be,

Who I should be.

I'm so sorry that I'm so fucking unstable,

That I can't deal with anything,

That I can't handle big events in my life,

Whether they be good or bad.

That I go from happy and talkative

To silent and sad

In just a few seconds.

Or from suicidal and crying

To happy and joking

In an instant.

I wish I wasn't like this.

I wish I could handle my emotions better,

But I can't change it.

I try so fucking hard to control my emotions,

To handle the mood swings,

But I just I can't.

I'm sorry it frustrates you,

It frustrates me, too.

I can't control my own fucking mind,

And it's driving me insane.

It does nothing but make me hate myself even more

More than I already do.

I'm so sorry for how I am...