I'm Sorry | Jackson Wang

2: Re-encounters

Jackson

"Uh..." I take my hands off of her like she had electrocuted me. "Luna."
She goes to say something, but immediately closes her mouth.
"Um, excuse me."
At that, she steps around my frame and walks out the door.

"JACKSON."
I look up from JB's coffee stain on the carpet; we had been messing around in the studio one day at like, 3 in the morning to keep ourselves awake, and we started throwing pillows. To say the least, we had a huge mess to clean. Not until the stain had set in did we notice the spot was there, so we just left it there.
"Yeah?"
Mark shakes his head at me. "What's up your butt today? Usually you're so focused in the studio."
I pause. Should I tell him? "It's nothing, I'm just tired today," I try to convince him putting a phony smile on my face.
He gives me a look that tells me he is NOT convinced, but just scowls and let's me go.
But Jinyoung doesn't. He looks at me and points to the door.
I shake my head; I'm not going.
He gives me a look and nods; yes you are, get your ass out there now.
I exhale, remove myself from my spot on the couch and walk out into the hall, Jinyoung joining me only a few seconds after me.
"Alright, what happened? You never get into funks. The last funk you were in was in college; what's your problem?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Well, we're gonna talk about it, whether you want to or not." He crosses his arms across his chest and leans up against the wall. "I'll wait all day."
I groan. "Fine. I bumped into Luna. Like, BUMPED into her, literally knocked her over in the hall."
"Luna...?"
"Jun."
He pales.
"What?"
"Um.."
"Jinyoung~? Is there something you're not telling me?"
"Um, I've been..." He scratches the back of his neck in anxiety. "I've been helping Luna write a song... She's a trainee here now."
"What...?"
"She needed help and I couldn't just-"
"You knew she was here," I look into his eyes, "and you didn't tell me?"
"I-"
"You didn't even think to mention anything?!?! How about a 'hey Jackson, the last girl you were in love with is here now, and side note, I've been seeing her?!'"
"I knew you'd act this way if you found out..."
"So it's MY FAULT NOW?"
"It's not your fault you have feelings, I just knew you'd act this way; it's how you are."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I knew you'd be angry if you found out I'd been seeing her."
"Who wouldn't be?!"
"Jackson, you shouldn't be angry since you said you had gotten over her. Unless of course you haven't."
I go to retort with something, but I realize he's right; if I didn't care about her anymore I wouldn't care about any of this.
"Why do these things happen to me?"
He shrugs. "If you want me to stop seeing her, just let me know."
I shake my head, "no, it's fine I guess."
"Jackson."
I look up at him.
"It's okay to feel things. Let yourself feel anything for Luna that you still feel."
"What if it hurts to feel it?"
"Pain is normal; just feel whatever you feel. Come back in whenever you're ready."
He leaves me in the hall and returns to the studio.