I'm Sorry | Jackson Wang

4: Stray Thoughts

Jackson

I've been throwing myself into work whole-heartedly for the past couple days, ignoring my exhausted body and mind. All day Luna has been lacing herself through my thoughts.
I rush out of the JYP building, late for lunch with the guys. My shoulders hunch from the cold bite of the winter air when I open the door.
Walking down the street, hood of my bulky, black sweater pulled over my face... it really gets me alone with my thoughts.
I hate it.
I mean, usually, time to reflect on my day is good, but now all I can reflect on is Luna and what might happen with her in the future.
So, in attempt to get her off my mind, I pull out my phone to listen to music. When I get to the crosswalk, I plug my earbuds into the audio jack and pull up a random playlist, setting it on shuffle.
Blood, Sweat and Tears by BTS.
Not bad.

"Sorry I'm late, just finishing up," I say as I plop into the booth next to Mark.
No one says anything, so I give them a look. "What?"
"Since when did you stay late in the studio?" JB questions with an eyebrow cocked.
"Since now. Let's just order." I whip the menu off the table and start mindlessly flipping through the pages. Who gives a shit anyway? It's not like I shouldn't be staying after right? At least I'm working...
Something jabs into my side, so I whip my head in the direction, and Mark gives me a curious look. I could basically hear his eyes ask me, "What's wrong?"
I give him a nonchalant shrug, hoping it comes off as passive.
He rolls his eyes and directs his attention back to his menu, so I take that as it worked, and look back at mine.

When we all have our food, chatter seems to pick up and the awkward tension melted from our table. I laugh along occasionally, making it seem like I'm invested in the conversation, but in reality, my mind is just going back to Luna. What might happen in the future, what she's doing, where she is, how she is... everything possible that had to do with her.
God, I need to get her out of my head.. fuck.
"Jackson, what's up with you today?" Mark mumbles into me, shocking me into reality.
"You scared the shit outta me.." I say in a breathy voice, a hand over my heart trying to get my heartrate back to a normal pace.
"Well?"
I don't say anything, just give him a look. Shut up, I'll tell you later.
"Why?"
"Just- eat your chicken." I push his face in the opposite direction.
"Fine." He jams a piece of his chicken in his face, chewing harshly with a bitter look on his face.
"Hey guys, there's another reason why I called you here.." JB suddenly announces from across the table.
"Oh, jjinja?" Youngjae questions through a mouthful kimbap.
"Actually," our manager walks in behind Bambam at the edge of the table and rests his hand on Bam's shoulder. He jumps a little, "I asked you guys to come here."
"Ah, Sunbae.. what's all this?" I ask.
"I had you guys come here today to meet a trainee group you'll be working with for a while. GOT7 boys, meet the BlackRoses." He sweeps his and through the air and directs our attention to 7 (gorgeous) girls walking into the restaurant.
Suddenly, a familiar face catches my eye, the one that's been running through my head all day; Luna.