entry 12

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Nathanael 
00:34
17 january, 2017
botswana, africa

I looked on at Ruth as she danced with the Yeyi people of Botswana. 

We had come right in time because it was a harvest celebration which called for festivities that surmounted to incredible measures. I went out with the men and photographed as they scored game on two antelopes and stole a calf. Then as they skinned and such, I captured the women collecting spices and nurturing children.

Sometime during the night...or morning, I had abandoned my camera and decided not to watch on through its lens but my own eyes. 

As many things were going on, I still couldn't keep my eyes off of Ruth. 

She said that the young girls colored her hair with dye from flowers and made her dress. A flowing skirt and knotted bandeau type top, she wore it and wore it well. Ruth was naturally the most beautiful woman I had ever known and her smile illuminated my whole world.

She gave me another reason to push my career further. I wanted to take her around the world with me and show her all the beauty in it. I couldn't believe she had been in Georgia all her life. With exception to Perdenales and the "world" she went into when she painted or played piano.

Looking on and seeing her laugh and dance, a deep and heavy weight seemed to fall in my chest. Ruth was too perfect to me. For me. But I had fallen in love. Sometime when we were back in Georgia perhaps. When I stood on her porch or when she found me in her orchard. Or maybe when I was apart from her and my body ached for her presence. 

I blinked almost forcefully. I had never felt like this before. Never fallen this hard before and...it was frightening. 

I found her eyes in the small crowd of people and smiled before she began to make her way over to me. She still swayed to the music as she walked. I smiled when she finally stood in front of me.

"You don't wanna dance, Nathanael?" Ruth grinned, still swaying. 

I shook my head, "Nah. Are you having a good time?"

"Definitely," She answered, then lowered beside me onto the log that I sat on. Her head fell to rest on my shoulder and her hand had slipped into mine. "This has all been real wonderful, darlin'." 

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself then." I murmured. 

A moment passed and I was going through a mental battle. Whether to tell her now, later or at all. It may have been the best time, as I could never keep such deep confessions to myself. "Ruth,"

"Yeah?" 

"I. . ." I trailed off, not finding the right words to say. "Angel, I really. . ."

She lifted her head off my shoulder to look at me and she stole my breath. The fire danced behind her, adding a glow to her brown skin. Her eyes- I loved how inquisitive they were and how well she could read me. And her lips were always so plump and so perfect.

"Why do you always look at me like that?"Ruth inquired gently. When my brows furrowed slightly, she went on. "Like you're tryna find somethin' in me."

"Because I am." I said. "I'm trying to find out whether you feel for me what I feel for you." I shook my head with a chuckle. "I still haven't figured it out yet."

She leaned forward, her hands moving to fix my shirt collar then smooth down my chest. "Why didn't you ask me then?"

I threw my head back in amusement. "Has it always been that simple?"

"You never know," She shrugged, a cute smirk at her lips. "Go'n and ask, darlin'."

"Ruth," I began, "I do believe that I am falling in love with you." Her eyes widened slightly and I clutched her hand. "Please tell me if I need to find something to latch onto."

As soon as I'd finished I almost came to regret what I said. That was until Ruth offered a precious smile and raised a hand to cradle my heated cheek. "I see it every time I look into your eyes, Nathanael. To be honest, we're both fallin'."

I was undoubtedly elated and she was so perfectly close. I could smell the spices she had to grind and the flowers they used in her hair. I could feel the warmth that I couldn't seem to function properly without. I heard her breaths become heavy when my gaze traveled the dark brown skin of her chest, her neck and her lips. I met her eyes once more. Unknowingly, I had moved closer, Ruth's hand still at my cheek. She parted her lips in consent and I went into a state of euphoria.

When the soft flesh of her lips met mine, I quite literally shuddered. My hand flew to her face and I inhaled deeply. Ruth released the smallest of moans and I thought that I would melt into her. Our lips moved slowly, but at a pace that still lit a fire in my heart. My thumb moved over her plump bottom lip as we pulled away.

"Are you going to look at me, Natha-?"

"Sshhh." I hushed. "Don't you know how to cherish a moment, angel?" My eyes finally opened to see a wonderful smile on her face.

Before I could say a word more, Ruth leaned forward and kissed  me again.





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