t r o u v a i l l e | ✔️

entry 17

Ruth 
14:58
19 July, 2017
Manhattan, New York

"Hello dear, it's so great to hear from you again?"

"Pauline, how are you?" I spoke into the handheld. After the wedding, I had promised Nathanael's mother to keep in touch more and especially when her son was away on his trip.

"I'm just fine and what about you?" She asked warmly. "I know this is the first time in a while that you two have been away,"

I nodded and let out a quiet sigh. "Yes ma'am. Of course I miss him, but he's got to do what he has to 'fore he can do what he wants. And it's the same here."

"Speaking of which, how is that little job of yours doing?" She asked. Pauline had been to Don's before she knew exactly who I was and had actually put in a request herself, noting how she would have "loved to have a talented player to listen to in Oregon."

"It's doing well. Nothin' to complain about."

"That's what I like to hear, hon." I grinned because I heard the smile in her warm voice. "You know my garden's been doing very well since you gave me that growing mixture."

I chuckled lightly. "You mean that fertilizer, Pauline?"

"Yeah! I've never had such color to my flowers. How is your garden doing, hon?"

"It's doin' alright. I'm still figurin' out what all grows up here in the North," We chuckled. 

"Well, you know that Woodland Iris grows very well in the North East." Pauline stated matter-of-factly.

I nodded, impressed. "An iris?"

"It's such a beautiful blue-violet, dear. I know you love blue. . ."

These were the types of conversations that Pauline and I shared. She was a kind and sweet soul who shared with me that love that I needed from a mother figure. Then one day, I had cut her off mid-speech to rush into the bathroom. Keeling over the toilet, I emptied my stomach of all that I ate that day. 

12:09
22 July, 2017
Manhattan, New York

"Ruth!" I heard my mother-in-law's voice from the speaker. "Ruth are you alright?"

I had dropped the phone on the sink counter, neglecting to end the call. Now Pauline knew this was the second time I had thrown up in several days. I had relayed to her that I did, in fact, have tender breasts and had been feeling more hormonal than usual. Unknowingly, my appetite grew slightly, and so did my emotions.

My head lulled back in realization. I couldn't possibly place what I felt. Dread wasn't it, as I knew that eventually I did want to have a child. I did not, however, know how to tell my husband. 

"Oh no," I whispered weakly.

"Ruth, you need to call Nathan, hon." Pauline insisted and the phone sounded off to indicate that she ended the call.

I shook my head. He still had about fifteen days to go. I could wait fifteen days...

Ruth
23:53
30 July, 2017

"Hey angel, how is everything?" I breathed out a sigh of what I might have thought to be relief. To hear his voice again was a comfort, and I wished nothing more in that moment but to be near him again. 

"Well," my voice wavered and the words all but died in my throat. Eight days proved to be too little time to formulate the best way to break the news. 

Yet, I could not wait fifteen days.

"Well what, Ruth?" Nathanael prompted. "Did you need something? How are you feeling?"

"Um, well I mean there are a few changes," I said softly. "Y'know we never really discussed when the best time to have children was, Nathanael. We didn't talk about what we wanted to have-what the names were gonna be. . ."

The line was so silent on the other end that I pulled the phone away from my ear to see if he was still on the phone. My stomach clenched with worriment at the silence. 

"Nathanael," I called.

"Ruth, is this your way of telling me that you're pregnant?" I was silent this time. "Please tell that you are and you're not just-"

"Yes, I'm pregnant, Nathanael." I rushed. "I'm pregnant, and I have been for about seven weeks."

What might have been a groan left Nathanael. "Baby, why are you just now calling? Have you gone to the doctor? I want to be with you when you go-I want to be with you right now..."

"Nathanael-"

"I'm coming, baby. I'll be there as soon as I can." He declared and I found myself stiffening in shock. I heard shuffling and a faint "pack all of this up," in the background.

"No!" I had yelped involuntarily. "No, darlin' you only got a few days left. We can go to the doctor when you get back. I'll be just fine."

"But, Ruth-"

"I'll be fine." I insisted. "I love you."

"I love you too, angel...and our little one."