t r o u v a i l l e | ✔️

entry 15

Ruth 
4:27
22 january, 2017
glendale, georgia

I slipped from Nathanael's arms and out of the bed. Shuffling to my closet, or what was left of it, I found an old white cotton dress and pulled it over my head. Then I made my way downstairs to the room which only held my large, black grand piano. The one that had a window which allowed me to look out into my now overgrown orchard.

I called it my thinking place for a reason. I made my best decisions in this particular room. But I had made some pretty deleterious ones as well. The decision to go to prom with Isaiah Jenkins among the worst, but I had made up my mind to go to New York sitting on that very bench. It was by far, the best decision I had ever made. 

Pulling out the bench, I eased down onto it, wincing at a unwelcoming soreness at the apex of my thighs. It brought me back to yesterday evening when Nathanael and I were talking. Sometime after he had laid down beside me and I curled into him. When his hand slipped across my thigh and didn't stop and I hadn't told him to. 

"I love you." Nathanael had professed. "I live and breath for you, but you take my breath away, all the same. You know what I mean?"

"More than you think," By then I was filled to the brim with emotions I couldn't even decipher. My hands had found his face and I lifted the pair of spectacles from his nose. "You give me so much life; I could spend the rest of it with you--"

"Oh, baby, you don't mean that." His eyebrows knitted and his gaze searched my face as if looking for a trace on insincerity. After a moment his eyes fell shut and his chest rose and fell with each labored breath he took. Our hands intertwined. Then our lips connected and our tongues danced."You mean it?" He breathed against my lips. 

I meant every word.

We didn't succumb to our tiredness until around midnight, but I had awoken just like any other day. Now my fingers itched to dance across the keys and my mind ran wildly with too many thoughts. 

The fact that I had fallen utterly, and completely in love with Nathanael Abrams was number one on the list of things I had to address for myself. 

There was no going back now. Not after such a night and so many confessions. The fact remained that I couldn't bear to see him up and leave as he had done before, no matter how many times he insisted that he wouldn't. His job was quite demanding and rarely allowed him to stay home for months at a time if he wanted to keep a roof over his head. I couldn't always travel with him either. While I had money saved up from what my parents had left, and from my most recent job, I wouldn't allow Nathanael to pay for all of my expenses when we did travel. Especially if it impacted his business. 

As my fingers held down a chord, my ears jumped at the sound of footsteps down the hall. 

"It's not even five-thirty and you're wide awake," Nathanael strolled in, pushing his hands through his hair before leaning on the piano. 

I offered a small smile. "Mornin'."

Upon returning the gesture he also came over to slide onto the bench with me. "How're you feeling?" He pressed a lingering kiss to my temple and left a light squeeze on my thigh. 

"Good," I breathed. Better than good. 

q u e r e n c i a:

start: 2 december, 2016
finished: 7 january, 2017

A/N: I'm not sure if I should write the fourth part. This would be the final part to this little  quartet. Or should I just end it here and make it a series?

If not then. . . 

book four: s a u d a d e
portuguese (n.) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant.

any suggestions or things you want to see in   s a u d a d e?