My room in eyes of a bystander [iwaoi]

volume nine

,,all i am, is a man. i want the world, in my hands. i hate the beach, but i stayed, in california - with my toes in the sand." [sweater weather, the neighbourhood ; somewhat possesivness, mixed with affection. placing the others needs first.]

oikawa is no fool. he knew it all straight from the start. from the second iwaizumi told him about his poetry. iwaizumi may have thought of it as he loves him, but it's not that type of love. he loves him like every artist of every kind loves his muse.

and that love lasts until the muse is no longer of use. and it gets discarted. the pain the muse feels is no longer needed for the artist. the muse becomes a drained source.

iwaizumis warm hands, fingertips harsh from the wooden pencils, dragged oikawa along the stairs and towards the rooms. and oikawa could feel iwaizumi shaking with his whole body. ,,hajime!" oikawa exlaimed, ripping his hand out of the others.

it was like giving a dose of reality to iwaizumi. the reality hit him hard and all of the sudden, straight to the chest. oikawa made himself seem as cold as possible. the light hidden behind his eyes died. his own hands were trembling with something. excitement?  fear?

,,i don't want to be just another discarted muse!" he finally let out, and until the words were already out he hadn't have realised how shaky his voice was.
hajimes eyebrows furrowed in confusion. ,,what are you talking about tooru?" he asked, his blood freezing in his veins.
asking that question was rather foolish, since iwaizumi was already aware of what this was about. he had heard those words before.
,,i'm talking about what happens after your poetry is no longer inspired by me, what happens to us?"  oikawa muttered, closing his eyes. ,,you're not in love with me, hajime. you're in love with the feeling, with the poetry i make you create."  oikawa opened his hazy brown eyes to see iwaizumis eyes watering.
he took a step forward, placing a hand on each cheek. he smiled softly, it wasn't forced, it was an automatic smile for whenever he saw hajime. ,,it was never me, sweetie. i wasn't the one you were loving. i just... i didn't mind it, although i knew."  his lips parted lightly, as he let out a small puff of air, as if to calm himself. that probably was why he did that.

hajime noticed him doing it very often. ,,then why didn't you tell me?" the raven shaked while he spoke, his voice raw and raspy as he choked on tears. he bit on his lip harshly. ,,i just" he took a deep breath. ,,i wanted to see you happy. because, tooru, your room, it's like a train station." another deep breath, eyes closed with tesrs carelessly sliding. ,,and your body, it's a ruin of something that used to be a temple to the god that you are." he pressed his fingertips to his eyes, with tooru dropping his hands from the boys face.

,,you are good with your words, hajime." he smiled lightly, moving the others hands that hid a pair of teary eyes. he leaned forward, with their lips collapsing onto eachothers.

it was like universes crashing into eachother, creating a beautiful haze of little stars.

[555 words]

this was by far my favourite chapter and by far the hardest to write.

GrandKingOikawa you're it

light