Secondhand Embarrassment

six: exchanging pictures

lennon || noah

☼~☼~☼~☼~☼

why is it that we've never
tried to meet in person

because i'm antisocial

but you're at beach week

then i really just like the
comfort of sitting around
in bed doing absolutely nothing

excuses, excuses

i'm surprised you didn't
make some innuendo about
getting into bed with me

trust me
i thought about it

hasn't your mother ever told
you to never meet up with
strangers you met online
for all you know, i could
be a serial killer

my mother's dead

oh my god that was a joke
i thought i was being funny
i'm so sorry, noah

if you're a serial killer,
don't come murder me
i should've never brought
up your dead mother

forgive me please

just kidding

what?

my mom is live and well

lying is a sin

it's a good thing i'm
not christian then

i hate you
now we're never going to meet
you almost gave me a heart attack

if you keep making excuses,
i'm going to have to think you're
keeping a dark secret from me

and what could that possibly be?

that you're secretly a
forty year old man

my name might be lennon
but i assure you that i'm a girl

how can i be sure?

guess you're just going to
have to trust me oh no

i'm going to need some proof

what kind of proof?

how about you send
me some pictures

if this is your way of asking
me to send you nudes
because if you are, i swear

I JUST WANTED A SELFIE GOD
I CAN KEEP IT IN MY PANTS

but if you're feeling up for it
then who am i to stop you
from expressing yourself

this is the best selfie i have
you have just been blessed
with the greatest art there is

so does this mean
i'm allowed to call
you lemon now?

☼~☼~☼~☼~☼