Secondhand Embarrassment

bonus: group message

lennon || olivia || billy || noah

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noah lyons has just added you to:
"it was all lennon's idea"

so was this group chat really
lennon's idea or noah's?

LENNON

noah

lying was a sin, lennon

then i guess you're the sinner

lennon carter has just changed the name to:
"noah's going straight to hell"

thanks to you, our nonexistent
children are already doomed

then we should just name them angel

i'd really appreciate it if you all didn't
blow up my notifications with baby names

but if i do say so myself,
william is quite a charming name

i was starting to feel like the
third wheel without you, will

you two should really get a room

noah, this is a group message
it doesn't really work that way

i know, billy. i'm not stupid
i just really wanted to say that

i cant believe you actually
created the group chat, noah

it was LENNON

noah, i do not approve of this lying

who do you think you are?
you're not my mother

no, but i am your girlfriend

oh shit. she just roasted you

do you need some ice for that burn?

i can see why you two found each other
you're both siding with HER

noah lyons has just changed the name to:
"lennon supporters + noah"

you've all joined the dark side and
lennon doesn't even have cookies

that's because i have lemonade

cookies still trump lemonade

noah, wait a minute...
you can't bake to save your life

shut up, billy
you're supposed to be on my side
what kind of brother are you?

one that wants to make sure
you can keep your girlfriend

you weren't wrong about
these notifications, god

did someone say god?
i think we need to call
on him for help today

you're jewish, noah

lennon is just on fire today

billy lyons has just changed the name to:
"this girl (lennon) is on fire"

*cues alicia key's song*

i hate you guys with a burning passion

i love you too, sweetie

did lennon just say she loves noah?

more importantly, did she
just call him sweetie?

i think she did

promise me something, olivia
no matter what happens, you
will never let us turn into them

you say that now, but just wait
until you've been dating
for a couple months

they've been seeing each other
for more than two months, noah

she's back at it again

with the white vans

WAIT WHAT

WHY DIDNT ANYONE
BOTHER TO TELL ME?

i thought the reason you made
the group chat was because you
wanted to go on a double date

how many times do i have to tell you
I DIDNT MAKE THE GROUP CHAT

i apologize for his behavior, olivia
i'll make sure he's punished

that sounds kinky

because refusing to order
pizza for dinner is so kinky

well when you put it that way,
it just sounds like torture

you can't deprive your man of food, lennon
don't you know that pizza is a necessity?

THANK YOU BILLY

am i the only one still wondering
who made this group message?

IT WAS LENNON

no, it was definitely noah

who do you believe, olivia?

sorry to burst your bubble,
but i just don't trust anyone
who talks in all caps

noah lyons has just changed the name to:
"i give up"

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