rant, memories, and thank you's.

a letter to a toxic friend

Maybe, you're the reason I can't sleep anymore.

Maybe, you're the reason why I worry so much that my stomach hurts.

Maybe, you're the reason for my headaches.

Maybe, you're the reason my close friends think there is something wrong. I assure them there is nothing wrong, but as I look back at our texts, I can't even believe myself.

I wish we could go back to when we would meet up at the park by our school or when we could sit next to each other at lunch and for me to not blush so hard my face looks like a tomato.

I miss you, a lot. Though, I know that you are still you, I can't seem to wrap my head around the facts.

I wish you understood how much I like you, and that I want to talk to you about it, but I can barely look at you for more than 5 seconds without doing something stupid.

I feel so small around you, like everything I do isn't enough, or just isn't right, like you're judging my every move.

Although you're toxic and many people have told me to back off before I get hurt (including you) I still don't want to leave you.

Even if this never reaches you, I hope you understand that I can't keep up for much longer. You brush it off when I say I can't do this anymore, but I wish you didn't. I feel selfish for thinking about myself, but I'm losing my sanity here! And maybe the worst part is, I like you too.