s e v e n t e e n

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Song attached: May I by Trading Yesterday. It's raining here and this song is on repeat and as crazy as it sounds, it feels like I'm in some sort of music video with those depressing filters making everything look so hauntingly beautiful. I feel beautiful. Yep, definitely sounds crazy (Edit: This A/N was written like one and a half months back).

Sorry if the chapter sounds off. Life really has been cruel for me and I updated just for the sake of updating so yeah, beware.

                                           

s e v e n t e e n


[ b i r t h d a y ]

"This is Varun."

Hearing my name escape Kiranya's lips felt so weird. Now that I think about it, though it's going to be almost a year since I came back, she had never called me by my name. Five or seventeen, it had always been nicknames.

The woman in front of me glanced at a different direction, totally not paying attention to Kiranya.

My eyes drifted to her but didn't expect Kiranya to look that blank. I kind of expected her to look hurt or trying to mask it but there she was, looking blank and accepting.

"Hello," I said in a weak attempt to put more effort in 'getting' to know her mother well.

The woman slowly turned towards me like those ghosts from those creepy Japanese horror films. Surprisingly, the woman stretched her hand towards me and I froze.

Was she seriously trying to shake hands with me?

Kiranya nudged me and with a startled jerk, I grasped her hand. It wasn't cold or hot or anything. Just normal warmth.

"Hello," I repeated, "I'm Varun. Kiranya's... um, friend."

It wasn't like Kiranya always screams at me the word 'enemy!' at the top of her voice but again, it wasn't like she loops her hands with me and sings 'my best friend' from Pokémon three times a day either.

Kiranya coughed but said nothing.

Kiranya's mother suddenly flashed a smile before reverting back to the Japanese ghost pose. But this time, when I glanced at Kiranya, though she remained passive, a part of me knew she was as surprised as me inside.

And by now, you should have stopped trying to question my thoughts. I was as clueless as you when it comes to learning how I knew what went inside that well sealed mind of hers.

The next half an hour went with Kiranya trying to make conversation with her mother. At times her mother responded. Other times she ignored Kiranya like how Kiranya ignores me like I was invisible or something. It felt weird to witness everything. I mean, I was an outsider after all.

"Ready?" Kiranya asked as we gathered our things to leave. "It's time for her Benzodiazepine treatment."

"Yeah.." I dragged as I glanced at her mother.

She was looking out of the window, her eyes fixated on the garden past the corridor outside the window. Like all the other times, warm memories which I didn't even knew survived the stage of growing up, clashed in my mind, each making me drown in her mother's young smile, warm eyes and transparent radiance.

My hands moved on their own accord as I held the older woman's hand, as hesitant as ever.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Her eyes snapped and for a second, she looked normal. The beautiful woman was back instead of the empty shell.

"Thank you?" she whispered back.

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