Lavender «LeafyCynical Oneshots»

Say It

"I couldn't be                                                                                                                                                                            On your mind like I needed                                                                                                                                              Elusive eyes                                                                                                                                                                              Kept pulling me into your illusion                                                                                                                                My mind aches                                                                                                                                                                         For your lust when I'm sleeping                                                                                                                                      You always leave in distances worth keeping." - ECHOES

It hurt. It ached so much Calvin could hardly stand it. But what was he to do? No, he could never force anyone to love him. But it didn't stop the ache and burning inside his chest. Cold was biting at his fingertips, but anything was better than this burn inside his chest. Seeing the person he loves infatuated with another hurt like nothing he had ever felt. His core ached and burned, but everything else felt so cold. Calvin was growing used to the burn, he felt almost better now. Almost.

Calvin sat on a bench in the snow, his hands void of gloves to protect his skin. When would it stop hurting? What would make it all stop? He was too scared to end it for once and all, but he was even more scared of facing Niall and Roman again. Niall was always out his grasp, always just close enough to Roman, but not far enough for Calvin to let him go. He was becoming numb, it seemed he was growing used to the cold. He wanted to move on, ignore the new couple, but he could never do such a thing. Niall meant too much to him,  and he was far too selfish. 

Swallowing harshly, he stood up from the snowy bench. Walking numbly through the snow, his eyes red. Had he been crying? Perhaps. His steps felt empty, and his breath felt short and harsh. He had no destination, and so he let his feet carry him where they shall. His lungs felt weak, almost as if they would stop working if he sucked in normal breaths. He was pathetic, utterly pathetic, and it hurt so much that he hadn't realized until now. He felt trapped, trapped within his own traitorous thoughts, and he couldn't escape, did he truly want to? 

He stopped walking suddenly, looking around to see where he was for the first time. No, this was not the route to his own house, but rather, the tall bridge they built years ago. How stereotypical. Keeping his breath short, he walked onto the highest point in the bridge. It was fascinating, just how easily he could stop the burning ache that had spread across his body. One simple jump and he'd be in peace. There'd be nothing left, no more anger, no more ache. It would be a relief, but was it worth it? Niall cared about him still, right? Surely, he'd be missed? Calvin was starting to believe not. 

Letting out a bitter laugh that only made the ache grow worse, Calvin leaned against the brick bride. His ending could be so easily achieved, so simple. The idea was getting more tempting as time went on. The ache came back full force, and Calvin couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted it to be gone, why wouldn't it go?! His short, labored breaths picked up, and his hands buried themselves in his hair, pulling harshly. The ache became a mix of hot and cold, and so Calvin flew himself at the edge of the bride. It was nothing too difficult to get over, a simple leg over and he'd be free. 

He tried to convince himself to not do this, but he came up with no reason not to. Because of Niall? No, he was happy with Roman. Niall was happy, that was what mattered to Calvin. A small, pained smile graced Calvin's lips, and he lifted his legs over the bridge. It was night, around midnight, so nobody would be here to stop him. His body would fall into the rushing water below, and he'd become a distant memory, nothing more, nothing less. Niall was in love with Roman, and Roman loved Niall, and so Calvin made his choice. He was selfish, and he couldn't handle seeing the two happy together. That was fine. He wouldn't have to be here to witness anything. 

Letting out a laugh of joy as the ache in his chest faded, Calvin let himself fall over the ledge into the rushing water below.

The pressure to his head killed him instantly, and the ache was completely gone. His body rushed away with the water, his pain was over, and Calvin couldn't be more relieved as he moved on to a better place. 

                                                                            - End-

Hi, I'm Slime. I'm sorry for taking so long to post anything, I'm a perfectionist when It comes to my work. I often end up trashing it, but I'm honestly satisfied with this one. I have a problem with adding too many unnecessary words, but this one came out pretty okay in my opinion. 

I'm also sorry if I sound super serious, but I didn't want to ruin the mood of this one-shot with my bad jokes. I'll stop being a gay faggot and get on with my authors note now. Again, as I said before, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to what I write, so I actually trashed about five one-shots that were halfway done. I wrote this on a whim, and originally it was supposed to be way less dark, but I branched off really far from the base idea I had and I kept rolling with it. Aside from that, though, I plan on making a few more dark one-shots based off a few songs by the band 'ECHOES'. If you're curious about the band and the song I used, I literally use their song titles for my one-shot titles. So, if you want to find the song, It's titled 'ECHOES - Say It'. Their band is really underrated in my opinion, so I'll be using their songs for my one-shots in hopes that somebody who reads this will like the songs I use and the band as well. Thank you for reading!

I tried to be less like a faggot, but guess what, It didn't work oops--