Good Times For A Change

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In simple terms, Barry Allen fucked himself over. He did what he always did; he ran. Only, this time, he had a strong feeling that Parker wasn't going to give him another chance. To her, he was sure that it looked bad. It did to anyone who hadn't known about him changing the timeline. 

That, however, was part of Barry's issue. Over and over, he felt as though he caused his own pain. It was his choice that brought along the grief of Parker's death. It was his choice to see her again, to seek her out and develop a relationship with her. He did it to feel closer to his girl. He was at a complete disregard for this Parker's feelings, their previous relationship, or their children. 

Our children, sighed Barry. How could I have walked out on what are, basically, my kids? 

But Barry didn't have to ask the question to know why he ran out. He ran because it hurt. He knew about Parker's children; it was a variable in the reason he was so insistent to see her in this timeline. He wanted to see the girl that should have been his Melody Nora. He was desperate to. Why he believed that seeing the little girl would make his pain lessen, he had no idea. He was quick to find out  that was not the case. 

So, for several weeks following their date, Barry and Parker didn't interact. He avoided her school, her children's school, and her apartment. If he could be, he was always across town. He didn't know what he could say to her, let alone what he should say. 

Hey, Parker, get this: I'm actually not your Barry, I'm a Barry Allen from another timeline where the you of that world actually died because I wasn't fast enough, as always. She was my wife. Oh, and did I mention our unborn child, Melody Nora Allen, died with her? Yeah. So, I changed the timeline so I could be with my family again, but, guess what? It's turning out to be worse here than it was in the other timeline.

Barry stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked at himself, his blank expression, and he couldn't stop the disappointment within him. Happiness was becoming a thing unknown to him. All he was familiar with was grief, disappointment, resentment. He wondered why he was like this, if he made these choices, or if something in the universe was against him. 

Half-mockingly, he looked to the ceiling of his bathroom, calling, "Speed Force, if you can hear me, send me a sign!"

The sign, unintentional or not, happened almost instantly. 

Through the door, his mother asked, "Barry, what's going on in there?"

"I'm, u-uh, reading a book!"

"Who reads in the bathroom?" muttered his mother.

"Me!" he defended.

"Sure, but how long does it take? Are your bowel--"

"Mom!"

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving."

Barry listened for her footsteps to retreat from the bathroom door. 

"Mom," he groaned. 

"I need you to finish quick so I can yell at you."

Barry sent one last look into the bathroom mirror, then slid open the bathroom door. He leaned against the frame. At first, he stared at his mother, but as soon as he saw her crossed arms and angry glare, he lost the attitude. He was scared. 

"On Sunday, I get my nails done with my friend, you're aware of that, correct?"

"Yes, mother."

"So, she decides to bring a friend today, and it just so happens that her friend works at the same school as Parker does, so, naturally--"

"You did not ask about her," he begged. 

"How could you not tell me Parker had children?!" his mother screamed. 

Barry's mouth dropped. 

"Oh, yes, Bartholomew! I did ask how old those children were, and guess how old they were?"

Barry closed his mouth. 

"Don't even answer that question, because I'm going to do it for you! Five years old, Bartholomew! Five! Do you know how many years it's been since you and Parker broke up? Don't answer that either! Five!"

"So, can I get a word in, or--"

"I can't believe you didn't tell me she was pregnant back then! I can't believe you didn't tell your father or I that you were even thinking about having--"

"Mom, I didn't know!" shouted Barry. 

His mother raised her eyebrow. 

"I'm sorry for yelling," he said, first. "I had no idea, then, that she was pregnant. That's why she left me. I don't know what made her think so, so don't ask, but, you know what, Mom, I can't listen to you yell at me about this because I had no idea either until a few weeks ago."

Nora Allen squinted at her son. "Okay. I believe you."

"All right, then--"

"Then how can you be standing here right now? What are you doing? Why are you not helping out with your children? Why are you not with your family?"

"Because I panicked."

"Barry," sighed his mother. 

"No, Mom, I'm terrified. I don't know if it was the right decision to go and find her, or to bring her back into my life again, or--"

"Barry, you are right where you are supposed to be," interrupted his mother. 

"I don't know about that," mumbled Barry, lowering his head. 

"Hey," she said firmly, lifting her son's chin. "You listen to me, Barry: you are a great man. I'm not only saying that because I'm your mother, although I am a little biased. Your father and I raised you to be the best boy a girl could get. It was her choice to let you back in now--"

"Only because I found her," he muttered. 

His mother sent him a look. "--and you can't run from that. At some point, you have to stop running and start living. If you felt something for Parker, something so strong that you decided to seek her out after five years apart, it's a sign, Bar. She's meant to be in your life. Those kids are. They're yours; you have a right to see and be with them. Do you want all three of them back in your life?"

"More than anything," sighed Barry. "It's just--"

"It's just nothing. You want them, you go get them. You have to tell her how you feel, how you've felt all these years. This is your chance to be with your family, Barry, the one you created. If you want it, take it, or else you will regret it for the rest of your life."

Then, Barry ran, again, to tell Parker the truth



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