Broken [EDITING]

Chapter 29

Jeonghan woke up, breathing heavily as he could feel sweats running down from his face and his back. It was the dream again. The same dream that will always wake him up every night. The same dream that made him felt scared to sleep.

He let out a long sigh as he grew tired of the dream at this moment. He was actually both scared and tired of it; is that possible? After a few seconds of just staring blankly at the wall, Jeonghan decided to get back to sleep and act like nothing happened in the morning-just like how he usually did.

"Is it that nightmare again?" A familiar voice came out of nowhere. It was Seungcheol.

"Oh shi-Seungcheol? Why are you not sleeping? You scared me so much don't ever do that again," Jeonghan said, jumping a bit from his seat as he was shocked to see Seungcheol. The other couldn't help but to smile fondly at how Jeonghan almost cursed-which is something rare to happen.

"Sorry, didn't mean to. But.. is it the dream you talked about?" Seungcheol voiced out as he move closer to his lover and wrap themselves with the blanket to stay warm. Jeonghan inched closer as well-although they were actually close enough. There is no such thing as 'personal space' when it comes to this two. Even Seungcheol's parents said so. "Yeah, it is." Jeonghan answered shortly with a lower tone.

Seungcheol felt bad for not knowing much about Jeonghan although they spend all the time together. Knowing that this is the best moment to help him out and to get to know him better, Seungcheol asked, "Wanna talk about it? I'm not forcing you but.. I'm here to listen,". Jeonghan looked down, thinking whether or not he should talk about it. He would avoid this conversation on normal days by changing the topic but this time, he was in a dilemma. After some time thinking, Jeonghan decided to finally have some serious talk between them. 

"Will you leave me?" 

Seungcheol was taken aback hearing the question Jeonghan asked. It was too sudden and he didn't expect such question. "W-what?" He questioned back instead, still a bit flustered at the situation. Unlike normal people who would repeat the question, Jeonghan continued on talking. "Throughout my life, the people I loved will end up leaving me one day. It's like a curse. It's as if god told me to not love anyone if I don't want to be broken. Mum left, dad abused me, and Taeyeon betrayed me. What else is there to come?" Jeonghan said, close to breaking down. He turned to look at Seungcheol to find tears running down his cheeks silently. 

Taking a deep breathe, Jeonghan continued. "The nightmare I've been getting, you as well as everyone else left me alone. That's why I asked you, Seungcheol. Will you leave me one day? If you do had some thoughts on leaving me one day, please tell me. At least I would know it'll happen.." Jeonghan finished and lift his head to look at his boyfriend.

"You're an idiot you know that?" Seungcheol responded, this time making Jeonghan all flustered.

"A total idiot that I can't help but to find it cute and made me fall in love with you all over again. An idiot that I love more than anything else in this world. How could you say things like that? Do you even remember how much we both suffered not having each other by our side? I can't even leave you for weeks and now you're saying I'm going to step out of your life forever? That's the craziest bullshits I've ever heard in all my life. Jeonghan, I know I've break several promises with you and you probably won't trust me now but I will never, never leave you." 

The two love birds just stare at each other, both lost in their own little world. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Jeonghan broke the stare and cleared his throat. That didn't stop Seungcheol from looking away. He wanted the other to know how sincere he was with the speech that wasn't planned. 

"So you're not leaving right?" Jeonghan asked, wanting a confirmation. Seungcheol showed off his gentle smile that reached his eyes and nodded. He reached out for Jeonghan's hands and held them tight, "I'm not leaving, don't worry". Jeonghan placed his head on top of Seungcheol's shoulder, enjoying the warmth.