Death and Life (Part 2)

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2014

I still remember the words he told me the night before the incident.

Don't go to school tomorrow. Please.

I still remember the next day at my house when I found out I was pregnant. I remember falling to my knees. I remember the police sirens.

I still remember Constance's cries and screams as she was held back by a police officer.

"Tate! My boy!"

I still remember the black body bag on a stretcher being pushed into the back of an ambulance.

I remember it all like it was just yesterday. The numbness at first. Then the anger, followed by that God awful pain in both my head and my chest.

I remember Constance's calling me a week later after the incident asking me to come over to talk.

You were the best damn thing that ever happened to my boy. I know it seemed like I didn't like you but Jesus H Christ, I adored you. You were right for my boy and I prayed to God every day that you would be his salvation from this horrible curse of a house.

Constance allowed me to go up to his room to pick up some of my things that she knew I had left behind.

Walking into that god forsaken room was the worst and best decision I ever made. Best because that would have been the last time I ever saw that room and because I was able to take Tate's favorite sweater.

"You know, this is my favorite article of clothing you own." I said to Tate as I held up the light green-ish grey colored sweater.

Tate walked over towards his bed where I was sitting.

"I actually really like that dumb sweater too. It reminds me of the one Kurt wore during the MTV Unplugged video." Tate said with a slight smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

And it was the worst decision I ever made because Tate's blood was still stained on the carpet by the foot of his bed.

It's been twenty long, depressing, yet rewarding years since I lost my Tate. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about him.

I heard keys being dropped in the dish I have by the front door.

"Mom! I'm home!"

Lennox.

I got up from the couch in the living room to meet my daughter by the front door.

"Hey Lenn. How was school?" I asked as soon as I saw her.

Lennox was the perfect combination of Tate and me. She had Tate's looks but my personality, and I'm very greatful for that. She has Tate's deep brown mesmerizing eyes, her hair is long and blonde but wavy, unlike Tate's curly mop of hair, she shares Tate's beautiful smile, wide and bright with those dimples I love.

Lennox was just about to graduate University and I couldn't be anymore proud. She has grown into a beautiful, smart and independent woman and I know Tate would be so damn proud of her, just like I am of her.

Evan Peters ImaginesWhere stories live. Discover now