What's becoming of Me.

Chapter 1

{Edited}

An extremely annoying ringing wakes me from my peaceful slumber.

"Mmnngh" slamming my hand down on my alarm clock I silence the sound.

6:30 am.

Sighing I stand up and start getting dressed for school. Living by myself in an apartment is pretty nice, although I'm not exactly used to the silence of having no parents. I was kicked out about 4 months ago. I'm 16 and able to live on my own, since we got the legal aspect of it figured out. I'm not exactly sure what my life is at the moment. I go to high school. I work in an underground strip club, getting drunk whenever I feel depressed at night.

My life has been hectic ever since.....him.

I'm not even sure if I am a person anymore. My life has taken a turn for the worst. I never would have expected my life to turn out this way, incomplete and senseless. I was a good student...no... I was a fantastic and brilliant student. I was the perfect daughter and sister. I already had colleges asking me to consider them. Scholarships were coming in left and right.

But now, I'm an average student. I've been suspended about 3 times. I have C's in most my classes. I'm no longer a daughter and my sisters pretend like they don't know me.

I'm broken. And I'm not sure...what's happening to me.

Right now, I'm just living through the motions...no I'm not even living anymore, I'm just existing. Utterly and numbly... existing.

Swinging my legs over the edge of my bed, I stand at my 4"11' height. My long golden blonde hair cascading down my back, reaching just above my small and bubble like bottom. Shaking my hair, I start walking around my room getting my clothes together to wear for the day. It's Friday, thankfully. Since it's in the middle of winter, I grab a sweater and some jeans. After brushing my hair and teeth, I wash my face then put on some concealer and some mascara. I put my hair up into a messy and extremely effortless bun, not bothering to style it. I'm exhausted and don't feel like putting much into my appearance for school.

I grab some comfy flats and slip them on. Grabbing my phone, ear buds, and bag, I head out the door, locking it behind me. I walk over to the bike rack and see my pastel blue vintage looking bike. I sit on the worn out seat as I grasp the white handlebars. Placing my phone into the plain white basket, I head out to school. I don't have a car and honestly don't need one.

As soon as I arrive at school, I take my bike to the rack and chain it up. Since I'm about 20 minutes early, I put in my earbuds and start listening to music, tuning out the world as much as possible. Blink-182, his and my favorite band. I increase the volume to the max as I pull out some cigarettes. My sucky school allows cigarettes on campus for some reason. But, hey, I'm not complaining. I wander over to an empty table and sit on it smoking, seeing other teenagers drift in. Looking at my phone, I realize only 2 minutes have gone by.

Time is not a strong suit for me anymore. What feels like an hour could only be a second. Or an hour could feel like a second. It's pretty messed up.

While waiting, I get lost in memories...

*Flashback*

I laugh loudly pounding on his back.

"Let meee downnn!!" I squeal when he starts spinning.

Letting me down he chuckles.

"I thought you wanted to be picked up, my lady." His deep voice making me blush and laugh pushing his shoulder rolling my eyes.

"Not like that jerk. Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can haul me around like a sack of potatoes!" I turn and start walking away feigning anger.