Damaged

23 | darkroom

"Settle down everybody, s'il vous plait! " Madame Moreau exclaims to the class and people promptly ignore her, "if you don't settle down i'll be forced to start giving out detentions!"

Everyone stops talking and the middle aged teacher takes a deep breath and continues, "As all of you know, the senior trip is coming up and the language departments have decided to plan it this year. Therefore, this year's destination is... Paris!"

"What!?" Mika practically shouts besides me and the class bursts into exited talking. Holy shit, Paris. The senior trip has always been somewhere national and this is amazing. I feel an unexpected excitement bubbling in my chest and my mouth lifts upwards into a small smile.

"Your consent forms must be in by the end of the week so that all the arrangements can be made. The trip will take place in three weeks, veet!" Madame Moreau finishes and the class cheers. This is short notice, they must have decided on the destination these past days.

The class doesn't seem to calm down until the lesson ends and everyone steps into the corridor. I have a free period while Mika and Ava have classes, and i think about what I should do. Remembering the math homework I still need to complete, I head towards the library in the other building across campus.

The walk is quiet and oddly peaceful. The early morning rays light the school gardens and the cold breeze ruffles the changing leaves of the trees. I observe someone sitting in a far away tree while reading a book and I continue walking ahead on the path.

I open the heavy doors and enter the spacious library. I'm surprised to find that i'm alone in the building, the only sounds coming from the air conditioner from inside. I suddenly remember that I used to have photography class during this period and this year the course has been suspended indefinitely because they couldn't find a new teacher. People must have chosen new classes, but i've been left with all the same ones I had.

I walk to one of the large wooden tables in the centre of the room and sit down while putting my bag on top of it. I grab my heavy textbook with a groan and place it on the table, then fishing out my earphones. I pop the white buds on my ears and press play.

I fucking hate maths.

I tap my pencil against the wood rhythmically and tap my foot to the beat of the music. I simply can't understand algebra, my mind wasn't wired for this. I excel in modern languages and in the arts, the subjects come naturally to me and I enjoy taking them in school. Do I excel in math and the sciences? Not so much.

"Fuck." I say exasperatedly and stand up from my seat. I pace around the tall bookshelves while running my hands over the old book covers. I walk back towards the front of the library while passing through a ray of sunlight. Like most of the school, the whole building is made of glass and is designed minimally with a predominant color scheme of white everything. Natural light is an abundance here, along with designer lamps and furniture, and it all seems very modern for a high school library.

Well, we can thank the rich parents of some stupid kid studying here for this marvelous library.

I quit pacing and I fling myself onto one of the tables, lying down onto the cold, smooth surface. The ceiling looks miles away and I can see the blue skies through the skylight above. I turn the music louder and try to block everything out.

Today is being hard enough as it is. I haven't seen Alexander yet and this is as much a blessing as it is a curse. I long to look into his eyes and admire his perfect complexion as I hear his husky voice. I crave it, and I know that I simply can't have what i want.

We both agreed that it is for the best for us to stay apart and I don't want to test my strength. There's something about him that make me mad, something that makes my mind fixated on him even if i don't want it to be. He infuriates me in the best ways and my mind puzzles at this mysterious man.