More Than This

2 -Amber

Song of the chapter - Mamma Mia by ABBA

A week had gone by since Matt and Garrett's confrontation behind the cafeteria. I'd been anxious ever since I let Garrett walk away. I couldn't just leave Matt laying unconscious on the ground. I had to at least make sure that he was okay, it just wasn't in me to abandon him. What if he had a concussion? I would hate myself forever for leaving him there.

But would I hate myself forever for staying with him? Garrett spent ten minutes basically telling me to dump Matt, that life would be better without him. I had a hard time believing him, not because life was so great with Matt, but because I was so afraid of how bad it would get without him. I wasn't blind enough to believe that if I broke up with Matt he would just walk away and leave me alone. I knew what I would be in for.

Matt would be a huge nightmare, worse than he already had been. I knew how irrational he could be and I was sure he would spread all kinds of rumors about me, and us. He would tell everyone what a slut I was, even though I was still a virgin. If Matt had been a different kind of guy, maybe I would have been more willing to be with him that way. But after only a month of dating when I saw his true colors, I made the decision to suffer with him until I could go away to college. I wouldn't be getting any closer, physically, then we already had.

Don't get me wrong, Matt had tried pressuring me to give in to him. He would attempt to wear me down with any argument he could think of, even telling me he wouldn't get so jealous if we could sleep together. Like that was the magic pill to a perfect relationship with him. I know I seemed weak and naive to Garrett for being with Matt, but I wasn't stupid. I knew his reasons were total BS, sex would change nothing.

I would always say the same thing; I can't until I'm married because that was how I was raised. I would tell Matt to be patient, that he was the only guy for me and I wanted to keep that pure. He would soften most of the time, indicating to me that he understood, but I feared the day when my words of promise weren't enough. I had a feeling that day was coming soon and I had no idea what to do.

Breaking up with him had become a goal, but I didn't think I could do it while I was still living in that town. Matt was too close to every part of my life, too well known by everyone there, and he would never let me go. Ever since the day Garrett laid him out cold, he seemed to be trying with me, at least. I mean, it hadn't been perfect but it was a lot better.

He hadn't yelled at me since that day. That had to be a record for us, plus it was making it so much harder for me to leave him. I at least needed to be able to say, "see, this is why" It was almost like Matt was expecting me to break up with him and he wasn't giving me a chance to do it. I felt guilty for staying with him, and guilty for even thinking of dumping him. I just didn't know if I could do it.

I'd still been sitting with him everyday at lunch. Ever since starting to date him I spent more time with him and his friends than with my own. To be honest, I didn't even think they were my friends anymore. Matt didn't want me to spend time with anyone but him so I lost touch.

That week had been different. I spent most of it observing Matt and how he interacted with his friends. I'd been trying to see what they saw in him. He put on such a convincing act with them, the perfect guy, that they believed every word out of his mouth. When his buddy Pete asked about the bruise on his jaw, the one Garrett gave him, Matt blew it off. "Ah, you know how it is."

He actually got away with that. No one said anything else about it. It was just more proof that no one would believe me if I ever told them what he was really like. Well, except for Garrett.

I hadn't really seen Garrett much after he left us behind the cafeteria. The one time I did see him in the hallway, he wouldn't look my way. It was probably for the best, Matt would have lost his mind if he thought I was talking to Garrett.

But that day things had changed.

As I walked to the parking lot after school to meet Matt at his car, I saw what I should have realized all along. He was leaning against his car and there was a girl pressed up to him. I recognized her as one of the popular juniors, Courtney. She had her hand wound into his hair and he was looking down at her with a smirk. I knew that smirk, it was his I'm-about-to-kiss-you smirk.

I knew I should've been happy seeing that, a reason to break up with him, but it just broke my heart. I was so stupid not to realize that he'd been messing around on me, all the while accusing me of being the flirt. My heart was pounding and I thought I might be sick. I froze where I was standing, half hoping he didn't notice me there and half hoping he did. At least if he saw me he would feel like the piece of crap that he was.

Instead, Courtney pulled away from him, but not before kissing his cheek, a likely promise of things to come. Then he squeezed her butt and said goodbye, getting into his car, never glancing my way.

Without thinking through my next move, I walked to the car and got into the front passenger seat. I looked down, rather than directly at him, and mumbled "hi"

"Hey, babe!" he said too brightly to be sincere. "Have I told you how beautiful you look today? because you are the most beautiful girl at this school." He was laying it on thick.

"Thank you" was all I could manage. I just sat there next to him and stole a glance, trying to gather up the courage to tell him it was over. But the words wouldn't come. I didn't have the guts to say it, not in his car where I was confined, trapped to suffer the consequences.

I knew what I needed to do. Garrett had offered to help me, he said I needed a body guard and he was exactly right. I had to wait until I talked to Garrett. I needed to find him soon or something worse would happen. I needed out, and I was finally ready to put an end to Matt's bullish*t.

I just really hoped that Garrett was still willing after I let him just walk away. I knew he was frustrated that I didn't stand up to Matt right then and there. If it was too late, I had no idea what I would do.

"Hey" I gave Matt a half smile, "let's get going." I needed to get away from him soon so I could try finding Garrett. Matt liked to hang out at my house after school on normal days. I would have to find an excuse to get him to leave as soon as I could. He hated it when I was quiet and distant, so maybe that was the way to go.

"Anything for you, princess." He smiled back.
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Thank you for your comments and questions! The song for this chapter is a bit of foreshadowing as well... I'll just leave that little nugget right there for now 😉