More Than This

1 -Matt

Song of the chapter- Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana

More Than This won 2nd place for the cliche crunching challenge! I'm so excited that this story is being well received. Soooo, I'm moving forward with it. Thanks for having an interest in my writing 😘

I woke up to a warm hand on my cheek. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw Amber staring down at me with a worried look. Oh my God, Scar. What had he done to her while I was out?

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I managed to force the words out through my fury.

"N..no, he didn't hurt me." I could tell she was lying. Why would she protect that loser?

"What did he do Amber?" My anger was giving me strength to sit up. I was ready to hunt him down.

"N..nothing! Really, after he hit you he just...um...walked off. I don't know where he went." She looked away from me when she answered, further fueling my suspicion.

"When I find that loser I'm gonna teach him a lesson he won't forget."

"Matt, please." She brought her face closer to mine, her eyes pleading with me. God she's beautiful, I can't believe just how drop dead gorgeous she was and didn't even realize it. I really should've done a better job of telling her.

But if she figured out how amazing she was, she'd leave me. I couldn't lose her, I was hanging on by a thread at that point. I didn't know why I said the shity things I said to her. I heard them coming out of my mouth and screamed at myself to stop, but I just couldn't. I got so mad when guys even looked at her. I knew that one day she would see something better in one of them and drop me, fast. I couldn't let that happen.

I needed to make it up to her.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I know I can be an a-hole sometimes. I need to treat you better, baby, you deserve better than me." That was where she told me that I was the only one for her and that she understood. I meant it, every time I told her how sorry I was. But then it happened again. Damn.

"Okay," was all she said. That's not what I was expecting which set off alarm bells in my head. Something was off there.

"Do you forgive me?" I needed to hear her say it. I needed her to reassure me that she's still mine.

"Yes." One word answers. Shit! I needed a new approach.

She'd hardly looked me in the eye since the asswipe decked me. It must have been him, there's no other explanation. I had to be very careful right then. It was critical.

"Can you help me get to the nurse? I have a raging headache." And his name was Garrett,
f-ing Scar.

"Of course." Finally she looked at me and I saw warmth in her gaze. She still loved me, I knew it. I just needed to use her sympathy to my advantage.

She grabbed my hand and put one arm around my back to help me get up. Honestly I could have gotten up on my own but she didn't need to know that. She kept that arm around me to allow me to walk steady. Total BS on my part, I could have walked just fine at that point.

Amber stayed silent the entire time we walked to the nurse. I needed a story because there's no way in hell I was telling anyone that Scar knocked me out cold. That would just lead to questions, and I had no intention of answering any questions about what happened.

"Whatever you do, don't say anything about what happened, got it? I don't want to admit that Scar got the better of me," I said it with a defeated voice. More sympathy, which I couldn't possibly get enough of under the circumstances. I couldn't admit to her the real reason I didn't want to say anything about him. That would just remind her about what a piece of shit I was.

"Don't worry," was all she said. Yeah, it was bad. I had to step up my game if I didn't want to lose her.

"Hey, babe, would you mind staying here with me, if they let you? I don't want to be alone right now." If I showed her my vulnerable side, she'd end up trying to comfort me.

"Sure."

I was screwed.

I couldn't let her get away. That was the only girl I had been able to let my guard down with. Man, she's the only person I'd done that with, girl or not. I had an image, one I'd been working on my whole life, and the image wasn't really me. I came off as the perfect jock, student, friend, son...all of it. Everyone wanted a piece of me, they all wanted my attention or approval. People loved me. Well, they loved the image, the picture I'd spent years painting for them. They all thought I had the perfect life.

Only Amber knew the truth, and even she didn't know the whole thing. I mean, I was pretty sure she could see through it, she's smart. But to her credit she said nothing. That whole time I'd been with her, she had put up with my crap and tried to reassure me about how devoted to me she was. I mean, she wouldn't put out yet but that's not the kind of girl I wanted in the long run anyway. If I needed some action, there were plenty of willing participants to be found. And believe me, they threw themselves at me daily. Sometimes I partook, but I tried to restrain myself. After all it's Amber I really wanted. Those others were just time fillers until she was finally willing.

I think she appreciated my patience with her.

Sitting in the nurse's office and looking intensely at her, I grabbed her hand and brought it to my heart. Girls loved that kind of shit.

"Thank you, baby. I'm so glad you were with me when I woke up. I hope it didn't scare you too much."

Amber just smiled at me, trying not to look me in the eyes. Looked like it would take more convincing. A lot more.

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Thank you for your comments and questions! I have added the lyric video for Heart Shaped Box, which is Matt's theme song because it's crazy and makes no sense. Let me know what you think!