Book of Victuuri (Yuri On Ice)

Priority

This is based off of what Yuuri said about Viktor being inexperienced as a coach. (ep 7, if you haven't watched plz do) (you wont regret it)

"Yakov! Yakov!" My foot steps are echoing off the walls. I need to hurry. I need to know what to do!

"Yakov!" I know he's here somewhere!

"Yakov!" My voice resonating through the empty corridors. As I run blindly through the halls, I start to wonder how the performances outside are going. Yuuri hasn't had any sleep and I could basically feel the anxiety radiating off of him earlier. My panic settling in as I realize that I don't know how to do any of this. I can't deal with emotions, because I've barely experienced them. 

My priority was and has always been skating. Yakov kept me in check. Anytime I was distracted, anything that took my attention away from skating, Yakov destroyed it. I have never been emotionally invested in anyone until now, not since Yuuri. My heart beats faster anytime I'm with him and I feel butterflies in my stomach when he does something cute. This is so new to me, what do I do?

Sure I've experienced anxiety before, but I've never really had the chance to pay attention to it, because Yakov made sure I was always focused and not worrying on anything but my priorities. 

Yuuri was right. Yurio was right. Yakov was right.

I don't know what I'm doing. I acted upon my impulses and blindly rushed off, carried by temporary excitement and curiosity. I should've stayed in Russia. I should've stayed Yakov's student. I shouldn't have left. What was I thinking?! Rushing off to Japan to train a kid you don't even know? How absurd, even for you.

'You know why you left.' The voice inside of my head mocked me, telling me the truth even though I don't want to hear it. 

'The kid, Yuuri, captivated you. You wanted to get to know him. To train him.' The voice played with my head.

'Ever since you saw that video, he interested you.' Shut up. You don't know anything, how could you possibly know what I'm thinking?

'You know you're getting older. The crowds aren't satisfied with you anymore.' Shut up! You know nothing, absolutely nothing! No!

'You want someone to wow the crowds, the judges. Someone to replace you after you're gone.' Shut up! No. You've got it wrong. It's not like that! I care for him!

'You're using him to get what you haven't had in a long time! He's just a replacement, a surrogate for the younger you.' I slow my running, standing still and processing my emotions that are so new to me. 

'You're manipulating him, and everybody can see it! You aren't fooling anybody!' Something snaps inside of me.

"STOP IT, I LOVE HIM! SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" The voice inside my head brings out something within me that I've never felt, something I've kept hidden. Something clicked inside of me.

'This is what you have to do! You love him! That's it!'

"I love him." My face softens and I'm whispering to myself, overjoyed with the fact that I've uncovered what these unknown emotions were. I like him. I like everything about him. In fact, I love him. More than anything else. This is what I have to do! I finally know! 

I smile warmly at the ground. I turn and start sprinting the direction I was coming from.

"Yuuri! Yuuri!" I'm forcing my feet to carry me faster and faster, my chest hurting and legs aching but I don't care! I love Yuuri Katsuki and I need him to know that!

"YUURI!" I open the door separating me and him. I see him turn around, his face red and his eyes puffy. He had been crying, my poor baby!

"Yuuri! Yuuri, I'm so sorry I left but I love you! I love you so much!" My brain reaching its maximum. I tackle Yuuri to the ground, hugging him hard, sobbing into his neck. We lay there for a minute, Yuuri processing and me crying.

"Can you say that again?" Yuuri's voice is small, vulnerable like a child.

I sniff and repeat myself.

"I said I love you" I release a breath I didn't know I was holding. I look up at him and his eyes are shining like the sun. Tears on the edge of his eyes as he held his hands up to his mouth, trying not to sob like I just had.

Instead of sobbing, he grabbed the thin material of my shirt and brings me into a kiss. It was sweet and innocent, full of love and adoration. I close my eyes and all I see is bright colours dancing behind my eyelids. My stomach erupted in butterflies as I felt him nip at my lip. Just as soon as it started it stopped. But I'm not complaining.

He pulled away and smiled through his tears, laughing wholeheartedly, squeezing me tight.

"I love you too, Viktor!" I can feel myself starting to tear up again, my throat tightening and my swallows become thicker.

Looks like a long walk through the corridor helped. And I'm grateful.

I've found my new priority.