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It was Monday real fast. Saturday made you stay in bed for the whole of Sunday, and you threw up twice. Your head hurt a lot, so you took painkillers and a bunch of other medicine, as well as sleeping pills and went to bed.
Maybe it was a cold. That, or a hallucination.
Anyway, Monday was great. Better than Saturday, naturally. The captain was really happy in practice today, because your team won against some other school that you never heard of. Apparently they were from tokyo.
Classes were only until lunch, and afternoon practice was canceled, so you had the whole afternoon to yourself.
You felt better in the afternoon, after you got more sleep. You ought to train your stamina more, but you just didn't feel like it. After all, it's cold outside and you had a fever running.
It was always Iwaizumi who would find you when you were depressed. When your head was all full of shit and self- pity. He would find you time after time, no matter where you were hiding. And you would wonder how he could read your mind, and see through every movement that you made. When you finally realized how he did that, you were head over heals for him. Love has a price.
The risks of getting your heart smashed was high, but you never really did give him up over the years. Even when he moved away.
But alas, here you are, standing in the bathroom with a penknife in hand, and a wrist hurting so fucking bad. Blood was dripping on the sink, splashes of red dotting the white ceramic.
All you could do was laugh through your tears at how stupid and cowardly you are. You couldn't even end your life clean, and here you are trying to cut your wrist, but could only do it once, because the slash were burning and it hurt.
Oh boy, it burnt. Real bad. The tears flowed out onto your cheeks and lined your neck. It felt wet.
Your hands were shaking, and eventually you drop the penknife. It clatters against the sink, and you scream at the mirror.
It hurt. And it burned. But what hurt and burnt the most wasn't your head or your hand, it was your heart.
"Fucking bitch."
The blood didn't really stop at all, and you just let your hand drop.
Plop, just like that.
The doorbell rings outside. You get your wrist bandaged up, and you tug on your sleeve just to make sure that it was covered.
Iwaizumi stood outside. Great, right on cue.
You grab the door handle with your good hand, and swing it open.
Iwaizumi stands awkuardly outside. He grabs a handful of hair, and says,
"Hey."
"Where's the girl?" You blurt out, and your wrist burns again. You bite your tongue to ease the pain.
"What? Anyway, just let me in. I can explain." His eyes trail from the door to your eyes.
"Have you been crying? Seriously, shittykawa. What is it this time?"
He grabs you by the shoulder and makes his way inside. He closes the door behind and kicks off his shoes.
He grabs your good hand into the room and makes you sit on the bed. The rain goes crazy outside.
He inspects your eyes for a moment, then lifts up your sleeves. You jerk your hand back, but he gripped it in place. He sees the bloodstained bandage and sighs.
"Did I do this?"
"Go away." You cough, gritting your teeth.
"I'm sorry."
"What?"
Your wrist starts to hurt again and you flinch, and Iwaizumi watches.
"I'm really sorry." He starts.
"But you can't do anything about it, Iwa-chan. You can't change anything, and you don't know how much of an idiot I am for falling for you so hard. So don't try to comfort me, because it was me all along being a bitch."
You choked out the words, and it was hard seeing things, because your vision was blurring up and the tears made your face wet.
It was hard to breathe.
"Shut up." He pulls you into a hug, face nuzzing into your neck.
He was warm, and you were cold. You don't move, and he holds you tighter. Then, you began to feel warmer.
"Don't keep leading me on, god dammit. That girl's going to think that you're cheating."
"I'm sorry."
He was crying, too.
"I should let you live your life, too. I'll try to give up on you, no worries."
"I never even loved you that much, anyway."
You choke on the last sentence, and began biting your lip to try to stop sobbing so hard.
Love has a price.
And sometimes, you don't know how much it costs until it's over.
