"Don't go." He wheezes, hands clutching mine, hard. Tears slipped off his face.
"That's what I said." I smile, my vision tainted with crimson red.
________________
It was dark outside, when the sun went down. Thunder rings.
I flinch, just a little. The winds picked up leaves and snow as it went. It was cold, and I was lonely. He got engaged today. Engaged.
They closed up the space that was separating them, with the rings they put on each other. They cleared up their pasts, and decided their futures. Do you know what else they cleared up?
Me.
He left. I still couldn't get past the fact that no matter how hard I tried, and how hard I worked, I still couldn't win. It hurt.
My voice gets stuck in my throat, yet I cry every time I stick the blades inside me. I try to convince myself that I have nothing to cry for, but tears come out anyway, and there was nothing that I can do to stop it. I laugh at how useless I am.
I lock myself up in the bathroom, and I stare at myself in the mirror. The person who stares back wasn't me. Vomit builds up in my throat, and all I could do was hold it down. Today, I lost him forever.
Red slips through my fingertips as I press down the blade. Oh, it didn't hurt today.
That just makes it easier for me to die.
I was sure that everyone wanted me to die, anyway, so I chuck the blade deeper.
Then I dragged it.
Slowly, it started to burn. Then it stung. One blade wasn't enough.
The slit in my thumb was already red, and blood seeped out like poison.
My poison.
I cry, and when the tears started to fall on my hand, I croaked out,
"Help me."
But no, no one came to help. No one is ever going to help. You don't deserve help.
I drop the scissors, and staggered backwards until I slipped down the walls. My hands were shaking and my flesh felt raw and cold.
My vision blurs and distorts, and I tell myself,
Die.
And I close my eyes.
________________
At some point someone must have broken down the bathroom door, because I felt warm.
"Hang in there, please."
I open my eyes.
Iwaizumi.
"Keep breathing." He instructs, face wet and glossy from the tears.
"Don't go." He wheezes, hands clutching mine, hard. Tears slipped off his face.
"That's what I said." I smile, my vision tainted with crimson red.
