Unboxed Letters

Josh 10

If anyone were to ever read this, I'm probably dead. I know I've been close before, but this time it's real. I mean, why else would you be reading this. I didn't want it to end this way, but then again, my hand is the culprit. No, my mind is the culprit. Blame him for giving me these thoughts and emotion that I didn't ask for; that I couldn't control. I have some people that I hope never saw me when I, well, you know. 

Jenna- If you saw me that day, I apologize. I swear I love you. I love you more than you could ever know. You are my rock. Without you, this would have probably happened sooner. You have made me the happiest man on Earth. You really are the tear in my heart. I'm sorry if there's a tear stain on this, I wasn't planning on crying. If we never met, I don't want to know what my life would have been like. I am truly sorry that I have left you without me, but I know it will be better for you in the long run. 

Zack, Madison, and Jay- I will always consider you guys the best people I know. You have loved me since you've known me. You have watched me grow up into who I was. This happening had nothing to do with you. Please don't blame yourselves. You tried to help, but I was too far to be saved. I'm sorry. You really are the best siblings anyone could ask for.

Mom and Dad- I know this is your worst nightmare. I didn't think I would ever be able to go through with this.  But, I did. I actually did it. I know it's nothing to be proud of, but it had to be done. I hid so much suffering from you. I should've just told you. I know. I messed up. I failed you as a son. I failed you big time. But, now I'm upstairs with the Big Guy, so I'll make sure we are looking down and protecting you. And Zack and Madison and Jay. And Jenna. And everyone else. Thank you for giving me such an amazing life.

Josh- Josh, I'm so sorry. You've saved me countless times. Ever since you've met me, you've put your anxiety aside for me. I am so sorry for all your work to be put in vain like this. I know I said I was better, but I wasn't. I lied. I am so so sorry. Please make sure Jenna is okay. Please help my family. You're the only guy who I know can help people. You didn't fail me - I failed myself. You did everything right, I was the one who was completely wrong. I will always think of you as my best friend. twenty|one|pilots will always live. The Clique will always live. Make sure they all stay alive. |-/ 

Goodbye,

Tyler Joseph

~~~

"I was going to show you after visiting hours, but then everything went...well, you know," Jenna told him.

"When did he write this?" Josh asked, holding up the paper with shaky hands.

"A month before you guys separated."

Tyler had wanted the band to continue because he was never okay. Tyler was still hurting, and somehow Josh hadn't noticed.

"Feel free to stay here for as long as you need," Jenna told him. Josh nodded. Jenna sat down. Josh could hear her crying softly. He sighed, not knowing what to do. It was official. His best friend was gone. Tyler was dead. Josh couldn't believe it. Here he was, in Tyler's house. He was standing next to Tyler's wife. She was crying. He was holding Tyler's suicide note. It had tear stains on it. Tyler was dead. The funeral was tomorrow. Tyler was going to be buried tomorrow. In a hole. Full of bugs. In a wooden box. Alone. Forever.

Josh ran out of the house. He continued, running down the sidewalk. He still remembered where Tyler's parents lived. He ran, passing forgotten streets where he roamed as a kid. He stopped to catch his breath in front of the music store where he used to play drums at. He didn't recognize the workers. He shook his head and continued running, turning on Tyler's old street. He ran up to the door, knocking. Tyler's mom opened the door, and Josh immediately hugged her. She cried. Josh shed a few tears. Tyler's dad saw them. Josh saw him and nodded, receiving a nod back.