Wherever you go by one republic up top(pay close attention to the lyrics)
Edit: to fill in the huge gap in the story, after those mess ups, Isaac came back into my life the week after Valentine's Day and we watched Deadpool together while I binged on the ice cream I'd snuck into the movie theater. We dated for 4ish months until... the crash
~
11th July
Dear "Man journal"
As I walked into the school, sticking out like a sore thumb, I gazed around trying to spot a familiar face with no luck. It was then that it fully sunk in...the gravity of what I had lost, of who I had lost.
I had planned to arrive at Crawford on the 22nd of June with balloons and confetti and, if I couldn't help myself, the world in the palm of my hand. Anything for my angel. Regardless of what people (including friends)would say, It never stopped me from believing that Isaac deserved the best. In fact, he deserved more than that.
I took a seat on one of the greenish-blue wooden benches while recalling a few of many everlasting memories of us. Whether it be our long talks which ranged from deep and meaningful to downright insane or sharing a laugh or even just sitting together in perfect silence, when I was with him, I felt complete and the minute he was gone, I missed him as if it had been forever. If only I knew how short forever could be.
The crisp, cold breeze blew a few strands of hair into my line of vision while whipping fallen leaves across the red-brick floor. A shiver ran down my spine coaxing me to wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to keep warm.
When I was in his arms I felt safest. In him I found a best friend, my other half. In him I found love.
An eye lash tickled my cheek as it slid its way down the planes of my face, passing my darkened eyes and puffy bags beneath. I caught it on the tip of my index finger just as I had carefully seized the many that found their way onto his face, "make a wish?"
But he never would, instead he'd claim to already have everything he could ever ask for. He wasn't the kind of person to take, he was a giver. One of the most generous and caring people out there. He wouldn't hesitate to help his friends, he wouldn't even question them and He always said that he would lay his life down to save mine.
The deal was that I was supposed to die first because then I wouldn't have to live without my angel, my love, my safety, my everything.
How do you live without your everything? How do you live with a hole in place of your once steadily beating heart? How could his heart fail him? How could God take him away when I needed him the most?!
It makes me angry at this world. Just a couple of weeks ago I was seeking comfort in him...when the world became too much to take and he fear of how corrupt we are became too much to handle, alone.
Alone.
He left me here to deal with this alone.
He left? No, God just needed more angels. He got saved. He got paradise.
Perhaps I got the short end of the stick...
Isaac, you were my getaway. We had so many plans. To travel the world with your trusty camera and a range of lenses, to get a husky puppy and name him Lucifer or her Lucy. To grow old together...
You died,
young,
but you sure did live your 17 years of life to the fullest. No regrets. You lived fearlessly and with passion. You weren't afraid to cry, to feel. You ,my angel, are one of the only 17 year old boys out there that could be called a man.
I'll aways remember you and I will always love you... forever and always, in life and in death.
We might not get to hold you in our arms again but the memory of you will never cease to bring a smile to our faces.
Never to be forgotten, this is our story.
YOU ARE READING
Until you were gone
RomancePeople know not the pain of being kicked in the balls until they themselves have experienced it. Similarly, people don't have any idea what heartbreak feels like until they themselves have suffered from the immense pain that leads to and goes along...
