Edwald Nygmobblepot One-Shots

K-I-L-L-I-N-G

Sorry everyone, I asked for some ideas from friends and it really turned into more of a joke chapter I think, I'm actually sort of ashamed to post it...but it's still a fun sequel to the last chapter and I hope you like it! XP

See the end of the chapter!

"Hey Nygma," Barbara said as she strode into the room. "I have quite the surprise for you, I think."

"And I for you," Edward answered simply, nodding in her direction. "What is it, Miss Kean?"

Barbara turned around for a moment to look at the painting that was hung neatly on the wall, a devilish grin on her face. She gestured up to it with a flurry of her hand, and when she turned her head to say something everything went black.

"Surprise," Ed said happily. He glanced around at the mess that the shattered whiskey bottle had made. "Oh dear...I wish you hadn't given me such a good opportunity, I was hoping to be a bit more clever with capturing you. Oh well, it works I suppose. We can deal with the mess later."

He was still very mad at Oswald of course, but he had once said that he would do anything for him, and he meant it. It felt oddly good helping him dispose of his enemies, despite all that had happened.

~?

"Ah, she's finally awake," Ed said when Barbara opened her eyes. "How are you?"

Her thoughts seemed to be moving a bit slowly so Ed patted her rather roughly on the cheek and she pulled back. "What's going on?" she asked.

"I am so glad you asked!" Ed cheered. "You're on the new and improved version of my game show! Our previous contestants were lucky enough to escape with their lives. The stakes for you, however, are a bit different."

"I would rather not play," Barbara said sternly.

"Come ooooon, where's your sense of fun!?" Ed exclaimed. "You don't exactly have a choice either...but don't you want a chance to win the grand prize?"

"Is it a puppy?" she asked snarkily.

Edward weighed the question for a moment before answering, "No, but I think that it is more in your current interest than a puppy."

Ed stood back a bit to give Barbara a better view of the room, which revealed that Butch and Tabitha were there as well. They had their hands tied behind their backs, attached to ropes that ran up into the ceiling and out of sight. Their mouths were gagged, she noted. After coming to her senses a bit more Barbara realized that she was tied up in a similar fashion, only she was obviously not gagged.

"The game is simple enough," Edward explained with child-like glee, "I'm going to ask you some riddles, and every time you get an answer right, you can ask for one of you to have a quick death, or merely to keep playing. But every time you get a question wrong, I push a button on my little remote that adds pressure to the cables around your wrists, which will pull them harder upwards against your bodies' instinct to keep them down. Get too many answers wrong or leave them unanswered entirely...and you all end up with dislocated shoulders.

"Also, there are weights attached to your ankles to ensure that you won't just get lifted into the air. That would be very embarrassing indeed! Maybe the rules are a bit fuzzy and complicated for now, but I'm sure you'll understand the basics after the first few rounds. So, who's ready to play!?"

"No thanks," Barbara answered in a surprisingly calm tone.

"No, you really have no choice," Ed said a bit more seriously."