tea please☼ destiel au

xix

thursday night, august 17, 1967

"dean, this is getting ridiculous!" castiel yelled over his shoulder, sweeping up shattered beer bottles as their pieces poured from the brown paper bag. his lover huffed, taking a deep swig of carolina whiskey- the good stuff they kept for special occasions or for bobby's visits- as he rolled his foggy emerald like eyes.

"dean tristian winchester! don't you ignore me when i'm talking to you!" he hollered, throwing the broom down into his neatly swept pile before stomping into the living room.

there, the winchester laid across the couch, sipping straight from the bottle and flipping through channel after channel, the dim light illuminating his sunken features. he looked like he hadn't slept for days: he hadn't.

when he didn't look away from the television, cas stepped in front of it, crossing his arms and burning holes through dean's head with his stare.

groaning in protest, dean finally piped up and grumbled, "move bitch."

this stunned cas. the constant state of depression, the worsening alcoholism, and even the unnecessary lust for sex 24/7 was things castiel novak could understand. but when that word carelessly fell from the winchester's mouth, he lost it.

"what did you just call me?" he asked, stepping forward courageously.

sighing, obviously getting bored with the argument already, de sternly repeated the foul word, "a bitch."

that was all it took to make cas's blood boil. without a word, he heavily walked himself to him and dean's room, throwing open the closet and dramatically removing all belongings that weren't his. it didn't take but a minute for the pathetic drunk to follow behind, putting a hole in the wall as he forcefully pushed open the main door. his confusion only lasted long enough for his boyfriend to grab a duffel bag, which was thrown carelessly on top of the clothes: the winchester's clothes.

"what in god's name do you think you're doing?" he asked bitterly, dropping to the floor and picking up scattered items that missed their designated landing.

ignoring dean, the fed up novak went about what he started, throwing pictures and notebooks, whatever else he could find that was not his. even shampoos and conditioners, neatly packed razors and shaving cream.

"what are you doing?!" dean shouted, knocking a bottle of body wash out of cas's hand and pushing him against the tiled wall of the bathroom.

castiel pushed against him, only to be knocked back against the wall once more. angrily, he spat, "get off of me winchester."

"i will when you tell me what you think you're doing!"

"i'm kicking you out dean! take your shit and leave. don't bother coming back until you've learned how to treat the ones you love!"

laughing bitterly, dean gripped cas's wrists tight enough to leave marks, leaning into his face and whispering harshly, "i don't love you."

he then let go of castiel, who just stood there weakly, appalled by his ex-lover. the elder stormed out of the bathroom, shoving whatever he could find and fit into his duffel bag. within hushed moments, he was gone, leaving the broken, blue eyed man to himself.

collapsing onto the floor, he silently curled up into a ball and sat amongst the discarded bottles and frames, allowing his mind to consume him.

•

"hello?" a gruff voice answered the phone, shuffling around in what could be assumed his bed.

"can you come over?"

"castiel? it's one in the morning. what's the matter?"

"gabriel... please."

sighing, cas's brother hummed, "fine. i'll be flying out as soon as possible."

•

friday morning, august 18, 1967

a loud knock abruptly came from the novak's door around four in the morning, and without complaint, he groggily answered it, not bothering to check who it was because he had already knew. sure enough, once he opened the door, he revealed his brother: gabriel. his short height hadn't made him any less intimidating, neither had his small, dirty blonde bun or soft eyes.

instinctively, cas threw himself into his brother's arms, shrinking as he cried and whimpered in his doorway. it reminded him of when he was young and he'd trip on something small in the street, how he'd automatically go to his older brother and cry, begging him to "kiss it better". only now, his wound couldn't be solved with love or alcohol.

"come on cassie, i got you," he whispered, ushering into the house and closing the door for castiel.

they made way to the couch, sitting down and having a moment.

finally, cas gathered himself and mustered up the courage to say, "i'm sorry."

"there's no reason to be sorry castiel. but tell me one thing: why?"

it took no longer than a second for him to burst into sobs, explaining the situation over a forty-five minute period.

"and i know i never call, and i know you don't necessarily agree with how i am, but of everyone in the family you tolerated it most and never stopped loving me and i was so lost and had no one to run t-"

gabriel hushed his younger brother, rubbing his back comfortingly. it hurt to not hear from his blood in years, only to be called up randomly at one in the morning to fly out to another state to help in an unknown crisis. but, as much as he hated the distance, he understood; therefore, he steered away from that topic.

"it's fine cassie. just... tell me what i need to help with, okay? i'm here. i've always been here."

it felt as if a small weight had been lifted from cas's chest, his tears calming as he took a deep breath. "i know gabe... i know. and i couldn't be anymore thankful. it's just... after what happened, i needed someone who understood he situation and how i am to watch me..."

nodding, his older brother didn't complain that his adult baby brother was asking to be essentially babysat for a period of time- but then again, to the elder novak, cas would forever be his baby brother.

"that's fine cas. i'll stay, alright? as long as you need. i'll have to call michael and them though... so they know where i ran off to so suddenly."

castiel knew that'd be one of the circumstances, but he had accepted it over the past three hours; however, hearing it out loud did pain him.

he brushed it off, nodding and easing some when he let it settle in his mind that he wouldn't be completely alone for a few weeks at least.

"i only brought a days worth of clothes, so i might have to borrow a few things."

"that's fine... thank you..."

"it's nothing. now, i'm gonna go use the telephone once i figure out where it's at. you lay here and try to rest."

"it's in the kitchen. excuse the mess..."

gabriel knew why the house was such a wreck, so he waved it off as nothing and walked into the kitchen area, careful of the leftover glass glistening in the sunrise in the window. castiel stayed seated on his couch, leaning his head back and rubbing at his forehead as he processed the entire situation.

he doesn't love me.

and with that, he broke down once more.

a / n:

excuse the lateness of everything... it's been a tough few months in all honesty. i'm no longer seeing a therapist which has made me a mess, and family issues have started arising at home.

this honestly sucks... i understand if y'all are starting to get tired of me or the book...

but, i'll continue to try... i'm so very sorry...

yours,

cas.