The Soldier's Girl (Under Editing)

Chapter 11

CAROLINE'S POV

I went to check the mail for the second time this afternoon and there was nothing. I sighed and got in the elevator to head back up to Taylor's apartment. She wasn't home, she'd had interviews all day. Usually she only worked for a couple hours at a time, but not today.

Last night I was so close to going to get her after I'd had a bad dream. It was worse than any nightmares is ever had before, I woke up bawling. That's why I really hoped that I'd get the letter today, but I didn't.

It was 5:30 and I hoped Taylor would be home soon. I didn't like being alone and when Taylor went to work I got kind of lonely. People always think that only children were used to being alone. I didn't really like being an only child, my parents always wanted to have more kids, but my mom was just too sick. The other day Taylor's brother, Austin, came over. He seemed really cool and nice. I wish I had someone like that like Taylor does.

Speaking of Taylor, she walked in at that moment.

"Care?" She called out for me.

"What?" I said looking at her from the other room.

"Look at this!!" She said ecstatically. She held up an envelope with my name on it. The return address said Charlie Connor on it. I squealed and skipped over to her. Before I took the letter from her I jumped up and gave her a hug. She hugged me back and handed me the letter.

"I just checked the mail a while ago and there was nothing." I told her as I sat down on the couch and opened the envelope. She stayed in the kitchen and started supper, that was good because I didn't know if I wanted her to read this. I was excited for it to come, but I knew that reading it would probably make me emotional.

I unfolded the three pieces of paper and the first words were 'Dear Caroline'. In the first page he described his flight out and he said that he hoped Taylor and I were having fun. By then I was tearing up just looking at his familiar sloppy handwriting.

The second page was full of things like 'I'm so proud of you' and 'pray for me to keep me safe' and all the 'I miss you' things. This really brought on the waterworks, tears were flowing down my cheeks as I read it. My nose was running so I kept sniffling. Taylor looked over at me every once and a while, but I didn't want to look back at her because I looked like a mess.

On the third page a separate envelope was stapled on. I gasped as I read what it said. The words 'Open before you start your freshman year of high school' were written on the front in my mom's neat cursive.

Before my mom died she wrote me lots of letters, some of them I couldn't open until certain times. The last one I opened was the one for my fourteenth birthday in January. She wrote one for everyone of my birthdays until I was 21. I'd got ones for losing my last baby tooth, starting middle school, and some were even titled things like 'Open when you miss me' I only had two of those left, she wrote me five and I'd already opened three. She wrote ones for the future like 'Open when you graduate high school' and 'Open on your wedding day'.

I'd almost forgot I was going to get one until now. I held the envelope gently in my hands before opening it. I wasn't crying silent tears anymore, I was sobbing and sniffling loud enough for Taylor to hear. She looked at me, but this time I looked back, letting her know that it was okay to come comfort me. She took the spoon she had on her hand and put it on the counter.

She came over to me on the couch and when she sat down the cushion sank, making me lean into her. Me head rested on the spot of her arm that was in between her armpit and shoulder. Her arm was around me and her other hand pushed the hair out of my face. I put the envelope on the coffee table in front of the couch, I would need a break before I read the one from my mom.

Taylor took her hand out of my hair and reached for a blanket on the other side of the couch.

It covered us both and I leaned my head in more, now instead of it being by her shoulder it was by the spot that my head always rested when I hugged her. She lifted my legs and put them over hers. Now I was sitting sideways and she was facing forwards.

My uneven breathing was making me shake, which was making Taylor hold me even tighter. I loved attention and affection from her, but now when I actually didn't feel the best it didn't have the same effect on my as it usually would. She barely moved, but I could still feel her slowly rocking me back and forth. It made me feel like a little kid, but right now that was okay. I was slowly starting to calm down, my breathing was getting normal and all the weird sounds that came from my mouth had stopped.

When I started to feel better and wanted to read the letter I loosened my grip on Taylor's arm. We readjusted the way we were sitting so we were still sitting by each other, but not as close because I didn't want her to read my letter. Before I reached for it Taylor looked at me so her blue eyes were looking into my green ones, then she kissed me on the head and started rubbing my back. I grabbed the envelope and angled myself a little bit away from Taylor so she couldn't see the letter.

Her handwriting covered the whole page and half of the back. By the time I was done reading it I was crying just like before. Everytime I read one of my moms letters I was like this, she always new exactly what to say. In this one she gave me advice and told me stories about when she was a freshman, I just wish she was still here, she'd be such a cool mom.

I put the letter down and I was crying so hard I was starting to choke. I'm sure I looked ridiculous, but I leaned on Taylor anyway. I hadn't cried in front of her since my dad left, but now with getting the letters it just seemed natural.

Even though I was crying I was really glad I got my dad's mail. Later when I calmed down I would write him one back. I had just gotten comfortably snuggled into Taylor when she had to get up.

"I gotta finish supper, okay?" She said to me quietly. I nodded and she squeezed me tightly one more time before wrapping me in the blanket and getting up. After all this thinking about my dad I was bound to get a nightmare tonight. All I had to do was get through that. I didn't know when or if I would tell Taylor about them. They were getting worse, I used to have a prescription medicine for my nightmares, but I left it at my old house.

I really didn't know what I'd do at this point.