The Soldier's Girl (Under Editing)

Chapter 35

CAROLINE'S POV

I didn't really know what to feel. Part of me was exhausted, part of me was sad about my dad, and part of me was mad at Taylor. Right now she was driving me to her parents house. When we pulled into Scott and Andrea's driveway I let out a sigh loud enough for her to hear. I went to get my bag from the back and Taylor came behind me but I already had all my bags and was slamming the trunk shut before she could help me.

Taylor put her hand on my back when we were waiting for somebody to answer the door, when she did it felt good. Lately any type of affection felt good, especially from Taylor. But she couldn't know that because I was still mad about her leaving me. Andrea answered the door and lead us into the house.

"You can take your stuff to Taylor's old room, Caroline." Andrea said and I waited for Taylor to lead me there. Andrea waited in the kitchen for us to come back. Taylor's old room looked like it hadn't been touched since he moved out. All of her things from high school were still there

.

"Caroline," Taylor said in a 'don't you dare' tone. I was confused because I wasn't doing anything. I gave her a look and this time she changed her tone.

"You have to be nice." She said after that.

"I am nice!" I snapped back at her.

"I know but you can't be mad or in a bad mood and treat my parents badly." She told me.

"My dad died two weeks ago, I'm allowed to be in a bad mood." I told her.

"You know that's not how I meant it." She said apologetically, she came over and wrapped me in a hug. I was mad at her, but it was mostly because I'd miss her. I felt my eyes sting with tears when I felt her touch.

She took me back out into the kitchen and her and her mom talked for a long time. I could tell when the conversation was about to end and my chest started to ache because Taylor couldn't leave me, I needed her. Taylor, Andrea, and I all walked up to the front door together. Taylor thanked her mom and said goodbye, then Andrea walked away and left us alone.

"I'm sorry I have to leave." She said in a soft, loving voice. My eyes were focused on the wall just to the left of her torso. We stood in silence for a while and I was dreading the moment she would walk out. She sighed and I knew it was coming close.

"Can I have a hug before I go?" She asked me. My eyes finally flitted up to hers and when they did I could feel tears form in them.

"Awww, come here." She said quietly and then pulled me into a big hug. She swayed me back and forth in the hug for a while and I was praying that she was about to tell me that she would take me with her. But she wasn't.

"I love you Care." She whispered in my ear.

"I love you." I choked out, trying not to actually cry. My body ached for more when she pulled away from the hug.

"Goodbye." She said reaching for the door handle.

"Bye....mmmm." I was about to say something I said bye but I couldn't recall exactly what I was going to say. Looking back I think I was about to say mom. I was about to say "Bye mom" which is weird because I hardly ever thought of Taylor as my mom. Maybe it was just because we had shared that motherly-daughterly like moment that I was going to say it. But it registered on Taylor's face that I was about to say it. That's why she gave me one more short hug before she left.

"I love you so much Caroline." She said before kissing me on the head one last time. Right before she shut the door she quickly leaned over so her lips were by my ears and starting whispering to me in the same tone I was just using to talk to her.

"Bye... ddddddd-aughter." She said dragging out the d and saying the aughter as fast as she could. Before I even had time to react she was gone. She had walked out the door and was leaving. My heart was beating hard, Taylor just called me her daughter, I knew she was kind of joking because I about called her mom, but it was still something. My anger towards her had faded and now I just wanted her to come back already.

I walked into the living room where Andrea was sitting. I'd never been in this house without Taylor and I felt weird about it. Andrea suggested that we watch a movie, so we did. The whole time I was thinking about Taylor calling me daughter. An me almost calling her mom. I'd never thought of Taylor as my mother, maybe a motherly figure, but not my mom and I was trying to think of why I would have even thought about calling her that. I didn't regret it because then she called me daughter and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.

I think that was the first time I'd been anything but sad since before my dad died. Towards the end of the movie I pretended like I had fallen asleep so I wouldn't have to make conversation when it was over. All I could think about was how much I wanted Taylor to be with me. My shocked feelings had worn off and now I just missed her and wanted her to be here for me to cry to like she had been for the last two weeks.

That night I was laying in Taylor's old bed. I'd been there for a long time and I was miserable. My need for Taylor had grown over the hours and I was crying my eyes out onto her old pillows. Scott and Andrea were both asleep and I had called Taylor twice in the past ten minutes. It was past midnight but I still had hope that she would pick up.

My crying got a little too hard and I started choking. I knew what was coming next so I ran into the bathroom that was attached to the room and threw up. You know you're crying too hard when you make yourself puke. I was shaking and I cleaned myself off the best I could before I got back into bed. I tried Taylor's phone one more time. This time I heard her familiar voice on the other end.

"Taylor?" I asked with my voice shaking.

"What's wrong?" She asked concernedly. I was crying into the phone while I explained to her how I was crying and then I puked.

"Oh my God Caroline, go get my mom." Taylor said.

"No!" I said sharply.

"I want you." I told her in a tired and weary voice.

"I'm in New York, just go get my parents."

"No I'm good now." I insisted because I didn't want to get them.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yeah." I said in a voice that wasn't very convincing. Taylor stayed on the phone with me for a while and talked.

"Okay, I'm going to go to bed now, is that okay?" Are you going to be alright?" She said all in one sentence.

"Yeah." I told her.

"Try to go to sleep for me okay?" She said and I could hear the tiredness in her voice.

"Okay." I said back.

"Alright, I love you, goodnight." She said.

"Love you." I said and I could feel myself getting tired.

"Bye Care." She said.

"Bye." I hung up right after that because I didn't want to hear her line go dead. I ended up falling asleep all right, but not a happy sleep. I woke up with a few nightmares and there was nobody to go to. And I didn't want to call Taylor again tonight. I guess it would be a long next two days.