The Soldier's Girl (Under Editing)

Chapter 34

CAROLINE'S POV

Right before the funeral when everyone was heading into the church I felt like the world was moving in slow motion. I saw relatives of mine who I'd only ever seen before at my moms funeral. Some of them gave me a sympathetic smile or nod, but I mainly just stuck close to Taylor.

My dad's body was lying in a casket in the corner of the room. Last night was the visitation and I was a wreck. I couldn't look at him in his dead state without holding onto Taylor for support. I noticed Scott and Andrea walking by his body, it just occurred to me that they had never met or even seen my dad before, it was too late for them to get to know each other now.

As we went into the church I headed to the first row that was reserved for the closest relatives, the pew was mostly empty except for me, and of course Taylor. I had already been crying so my eyes were already red rimmed and I was ready to break again at any moment. I glanced back to the corner where my dad was lying, it's hard to believe that that lifeless body held me when I was a baby and talked to me all the time.

I turned back to the front when it all became too much. Right before the service started Taylor put her arm around me and pulled me in for a side hug. She put her face up next to mine like she was about to whisper something in my ear. But it seemed that this time none of her words could fix it, she pulled away from me without ever saying anything when the music started playing.

I was crying from the get go. By the time it was my turn to speak I wiped my tears away as best as I could and blew my nose with one of our many kleenexes before going up to the altar. When I got up there I situated my papers and deep breath so I didn't choke on my first words.

"My dad was and is the hero in my life.." I started off, choking on the word life. My entire speech took five minutes, through the course of that I started crying more and more. A couple times throughout it I had to stop and compose myself because I was crying too hard to read.

"I will always miss my dad, but I know I will carry him and his memory with me into my adult life. I'm so thankful to have at least spent 15 years with him, because he was such a wonderful man and father. Thank you." I spilled out, there were years pouring down my cheeks as I walked back to sit beside Taylor. She was crying from my speech too, but not as much as me.

"You did good." She said softly to me when I sat down. She joined hands with me and ran her thumb up and down the top of my hand. After some more singing and some more speaking and some more crying the service was over. The first people who walked up to me after were Taylor's parents.

Andrea went straight in for the hug and then looked like she really didn't know what to say. After all there wasn't much to be said about it. Many other people that I hardly knew came up and told me they were sorry for my loss and everything. Once I finally escaped all the people it was time to head to the cemetery.

When we arrived my dad, more soldiers, and a small crowd dressed in black were waiting for us. My dad's casket was opened up as everyone sat down on the chairs that were provided. Taylor and I sat beside each other and I held onto her hand again. It was a military burial so one of the soldiers gave me an American flag that was folded into a triangle. Right after this they did the 21 gun salute.

Every time the guns went off I flinched, more and more tears fell out if my eyes each time until I was bawling uncontrollably. I was shaking when it was over and Taylor squeezed my hand tighter. I saw a few people go over to the casket. I really lost it then. They were shutting it for good, this was the last real life glimpse of my dad I'd ever see.

I peered into the casket through my teary eyes and when it was all the way shut my heart sank. I watched my father be lowered into the ground. Kind words were said about what a hero he was. People were patting my back for support. But I felt none of it. All I felt was pain, my last family member had just been buried six feet under. I squeezed Taylor's hand tighter but I still felt nothing, nothing could make me feel any better.

It took a lot of people to get me into Taylor's car after everything was over. They think I was in shock. Once I did get in her car and we started driving I started crying hard. Probably as hard as I did the first night when I found out he was dead. With the screaming and everything. Taylor was driving an trying to comfort me at the same time but I wasn't working. I looked down at the black funeral dress I was wearing and I never wanted to see it again.

I started banging my hands on the dashboard and yelling about how unfair everything was. That's when Taylor pulled over to the side of the road. I noticed Scott and Andrea, who were driving behind us pull over too. I didn't want to see them right now.

Taylor parked the car and grabbed my wrists to stop them from hitting the car.

"Come back here with me." She said motioning to the backseat of the car. I managed to sit back there with her and somehow Andrea knew to get out of her car and start driving Taylor's. Niether of her parents had ever seen me this emotional. I stayed with my face buried in Taylor's shirt. She had her arms around me and was rubbing my back all the way to her apartment.

TAYLOR'S POV

I carried Caroline's folded up flag into my apartment. I would be bawling as hard as her if I wasn't trying to hold myself together for her.

"I think you just need to lay down and try to sleep." I told her with one of my hands holding the side of her face. I took her into my bedroom and pulled the covers on my bed over her. I pushed some hair out of her face and kissed her forehead. I attempted to exit but I was stopped.

"Don't leave." The little voice behind me said. I gave in and crawled into bed beside her. She fell asleep quick but I stayed there thinking. I wanted Caroline to be happy again, but I didn't know how soon that would come, it would definitely take time. Just two weeks ago we were in an empty parking lot and I was teaching her to drive. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

The rest of that week consisted of ice cream and movies and my failed attempts to make things better. Caroline had fully expressed how mad she was at me because I was going to leave her this weekend. It seemed that the last straw for her was on Thursday night when I was packing my bag for New York. She begged and begged for me to not go or for me to take her with me.

I did feel bad about leaving but maybe it would be good for her to be with my parents for a few days since I'm the only person she's really seen in the last two weeks. At least that's what I was thinking when I fell asleep that night.