Hard Habit to Break #Wattys2017

HHB (37)

- Rhian -

"Hindi naman mahirap diba?! Pero bakit hindi moko maintindihan Rhian?! Ayoko nagsasalita ka na para ka na lang namamaalam palagi!"

Andito na kami sa labas ng nasabing Hub pabalik sa sasakyan dahil biglang nag walkout itong si Glaiza.

"Then what do you want me to do Glaiza? We have to accept it... I don't need to live forever Lablab, what I need is to live a day for all of you... Ngayon ko mas naaapreciate ang bawat pagsikat nang araw dahil nagkakaroon ako nang isa pang pagkakataon na makasama kayo... Ikaw... Do you think ganon lang kadali sakin ang mga sinasabi ko? Mahirap, coz you always knew that I hate goodbyes. But this is life for me now... And I have to make myself ready anytime sa ayaw at sa gusto ko... So please, be strong for me... Sabayan mo akong tanggapin lahat nang ito Lablab...you will never lose me, i know... I will always right here" saad ko sabay turo sa bandang puso nya.

There's a rage of anger in her eyes at alam ko namang pikon na pikon na ito sa akin but then, gaya nang sabi ko, kailangan namin tanggapin ang sitwasyon ngayon.

"Umuwi na tayo" she said in a cold voice...

Padabog naman itong sumakay sa sasakyan at habang nasa byahe ay pareho kaming tahimik.

Minsan hindi ko na din alam kung ano ang dapat kong isipin. This is the toughest battles I ever had in my life... Who doesn't want to win? But there's nothing much of confidence inside me dahil alam kong hindi ko naman kontrolado ang lahat... To win or to lose, it's God's will.

Oh God, Although I am not worthy to ask you too much but I am certain that I will never repudiate my prayers... But nevertheless, I offer you my life with all my heart and let your will be done... I silently enounce inside my head.

...

Gaya nang ipinangako ni Glaiza, we had our one week trip... 3 days in Barcelona and 3 days in Cape Town... Hindi pa kasi kami nakakapunta doon kaya iyon ang sabi ko sa kanya...

The trip was terrific!!! Pareho naming na enjoy... Kahit pagbalik namin dito ay naospital agad ako dahil sa fatigue...

But all in all, it's worthy.

...

The next phases of my battle became arduous...

Mas lumalala ang depression na nararamdaman ko. Every pain became unbearable...

Glaiza stop arguing and fighting with me and become my strong pillar...

I saw how she endure things for me like giving up her sleeps... Madalas itong umuuwi ng maaga at kapag nasa bahay sya, lahat ng pwedeng gawin for my comfort ay ginagawa nya... From my foods to caring and attaining my every needs... Panandaliang hindi na muna sya tumatanggap ng mga malalayong shows... She's just around NYC dahil sabi nya, mas madali sa kanyang puntahan ako in case I need her.

I usually disturb her silent and peaceful sleeps whenever I had pains and breathing problem at night and madalas hindi na sya nakakatulog, binabantayan na lang nya ako...

Her acts and efforts impressed me a lot... Ni isang reklamo wala akong narinig mula sa kanya... Para akong isang mababasaging bagay na sobra nyang iniingatan and that makes me feel very lucky...