Dan Howell x Reader | Psycho

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Description : (This is a psychotic imagine) You and Dan are speeding through the streets, talking and laughing while planning your next attack.
Warnings : Mentions of murder, Swearing
Word Count : 1536
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"Woohoo!" I yell as we run a red light down the main road. We've been like this for hours, Dan and I. Running streetlights, swivelling and whipping past all the slow ass cars. We have the music full blast, beers in the back and a bottle of vodka in the front. Having the time of our lives.
We feel so free together. Never giving a SHIT about anything or anyone. We don't have friends and we don't need them. We have each other.
I take a long drag of my cigarette and hand it to Dan. He's the driver. Always is. I want to drive too but he says I'm slower than him.
"Hold on!" He yells hysterically. I put my right hand on the door and squeeze Dan's shoulder with my other as we slide down the rode and around the corner.
"Hell yeah!" I yell, taking the cigarette from Dan and inhaling it in.
"So what are we doin' next y/n? I see a shop down the road that seems rather lonely this fine night." He says. He's talking about robbery, obviously. We have no money since we are jobless. Jobs are boring, we are not.
"Sound like a plan, lets do it!" I yell as he floors the gas, sending us speeding down the road. The air is filled with our cries of joy.
People fear us. Hell even the police do. He's the Joker and I'm his Harley Quinn. Together we wreak havoc in the city.
I jolt forward as he hits the gas. We stop in between two parking spaces in front of some indie store of some kind. Pretty empty, perfect for a midnight robbery. I ruffle my hair that I dyed half blazing red and the other half white. It's dressed in loose curls and a shit ton of hair spray. Looking down at my body, I'm wearing some fishnet leggings with black ripped jean shorts, and a white jumper, with a hole in the shoulder. I put my shoes back on, I take them off when I know we will be in the car a while. Their long brown boots that zip up on the side.
Scanning the store, I see there's a middle aged couple in the back, real boring lookn' so there's no way their cops. The one worker there is some teenaged nerd, looks like he's gonna shit himself any moment. Probably will when we come in.
"Too easy." Dan says. I look at him and holy shit does he look good tonight. His hair ruffled up, black skinny jeans, a blazer that's worn and ripped, under it a white button up. His face is flawless as always.
"How about we take a hit or two before we go in?" I say to him, grabbing the bag from the glove compartment.
He answers with a smirk and grabs the papers from his pocket. I roll the joint, and light it up, inhaling the holy drug, and passing it Dan. He takes a drag and directly plants a huge smooch on my lips right after, sending butterflies to my core. He pulls away slowly, and exhales the smoke, blowing it to the side.
"Ready?" He says, handing the joint to me.
"Always." I reply taking the last hit.
Dan reaches into the back seat and grabs his pistol, and grabs me mine as well.
"M'lady." He says, dramatically handing me my weapon.
"Why thank you, kind Sir." I reply grabbing the gun.
"Let's do this shit!" I yell, opening my door. We get out and I throw the butt of the joint on the ground, stomping it out with my foot. I hear Dan cock his pistol, loading it. And I turn and walk to him. He grabs my hand once I'm beside him and I plant a kiss on his cheek.
"Let's take some lives." He says. I smirk and we walk to the door. I go in first, immediately going to the couple in the back.
"Hello their bitches, hope it was a sufficient life." I say, shooting the man straight through his head. The woman screams in terror, and I aim at her.
"Shut up, grandma." I say, and she sobs even louder. I grab her wrist and yank her to the counter, finding Dan there already. He's aiming at the boy, and he's shoving money in a bag.
"You got more in the back, don't you.." I glance at his name tag before continuing. "Simon. Huh?" He whimpers and nods.
"Well go get it!" I yell at him. He nods again and walks to the back door.
"Ah, ah, ahhh," Dan says to me, and I twist on my heels to face him. Raising my eyebrows.
"Not alone, y/n. They got a phone back there."
I laugh, how stupid could I be. I throw the lady to the ground, and walk towards Simon, aiming at him. We walk into the back room and there it is. A few piles of money sitting on the desk. As he throws it in the bag, I hear a gun go off. I quickly shove the remaining money in the bag and drag Simon with me back to the main room. I get there and see the lady, still on the ground with a hole between her eyes and a pool of blood around her.
"Damn, I missed it." I sigh, throwing Simon at the cash register.
"She wouldn't shut the fuck up." Dan says, shrugging. Oh well, I thought, turning my attention back towards Simon.
"Alright kid. Thanks for the cash, any last words? Regrets? Oh or love confessions, those are the best!" I say raising my gun to him.
"No please! I'm about to graduate! Get my diploma! Have a life!" He cries. I hear Dan laugh in the background.
"Worthless." I say, and shoot him square in the eye. Then again in his chest, and again in his stomach.
"Alright y/n. Enough fun. We should get going." Dan says. I nod and he gives me a kiss on the cheek. He grabs the bag of moneyed one hand, and holds my hand in the other, and we leave.
We get in the car, Dan throws the money bag in the back seat and fixes his blazer.
"That was fun. Wish it was more crowded." Dan says, grabbing a cigarette from the ash tray. I hand him my lighter and he nods a thank you.
"True. Them indie stores, easy trip, but quite boring." I reply, fixing my shirt.
"Where to now?" I ask him, taking the cigarette from his long thin fingers. We move around often. Killing and stealing. We don't eat much, takes up useful time. It's the same with sleep.
"I guess we will just cruise the streets for now. Maybe stop at a pub? Start a fight? That'd be hilarious."
I laugh as I'm reminded of a pub fight I accidentally started a week before. Dumbass drunk divorcees, think they can throw a punch and not get stabbed. Several times.
Dan starts up the car and we sail off into the night. Same as before, zipping past traffic lights and cursing at random people.
I'm about to turn the music back on when I notice the bottle of vodka in the cup holder.
"My my my, this bottle looks very lonely." I say, popping the lid off.
"I think you're right, y/n." Dan says, throwing the cigarette out the window. I gulp down a shot and wince at the strong taste, but immediately turn that into a smile, and I pass Dan the bottle. He takes a swig and I can't help but admire him. His thin but toned arms, his messy hair, and the look of freedom in his eyes. The way he's so tough and handsome. His voice scratched from all the yelling we do. It's so fucking sexy.
"Whataya lookn' at?" Dan says. I smile and put my chin in my hands.
"You. You're very pretty Dan Howell." He smiles and chuckles a bit.
"Hun, if you wanna look at pretty, this vehicles filled with mirrors."
"Aww" I say, planting a big kiss on his neck. I'm about to kiss again, when I hear the sound of sirens ahead.
"Shit! They for us you think?" I say sitting back up.
"Nah, they wouldn't be that stupid." He says, and he's right, the cop moves right past us. I laugh at, well I'm not sure. Everything's just funny when you're insane.
"We are the king and queen of the city, and we must be left uninterrupted." Dan says, taking a long gulp out of the bottle and handing it to me.
"That you are correct." I say, grabbing the bottle.
And that's how we stay. Forever haunting the streets, causing chaos and terror. Left alone and free with our crazy minds.
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A/N
Hey! If you enjoyed this, I've also written some Supernatural and Sherlock ones. Check them out!
May we meet again.
- S.W.

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