Dan Howell x Reader | I Don't Deserve You

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Description : You wake up in the middle of he night beside your boyfriend, Dan Howell, and break down because you think you don't deserve him.
Warnings : Self Doubt, Fluff
Word Count : 777
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A long exhale escapes my lips as I tiredly roll over, unable to fall back asleep after waking up at nearly 3:00am. Facing me is a sound asleep Dan Howell, curled up in a mountain of blankets with his head pushed into his pillow. His arms were tangled in front of him, the steady rising of his chest repeating rhythmically. Even when he was asleep, he was possibly the most beautiful human being I've ever laid my eyes on. Curly hair from the shower he took earlier, soft dusty pink lips, perfect fair-toned skin, and not to mention the brown orbs that were safely guarded behind his closed eyelids.

This man is so much more than his looks however. He has held me so many nights as I couldn't sleep, took care of me whenever I fell ill, and made sure I was never lonely or feeling as if there is no point to anything. I try to return every one of his many favours, but he gives so much, it feels impossible to try and keep up. Although he's told me many times that he loves me and that he needs me, I feel like I do not deserve the wonderful man I am laying next to. He changes the world everyday, and I do nothing. I just lay around, eating cereal and playing video games. If I were to suddenly disappear, no one would notice, and no one would care. Another useless soul finally realizing there unproductiveness.

The thoughts start swimming around my mind of how he could do so much better, how I am just another person without meaning, about how if I left right now and never returned, everything would continue on. A tear escapes my eye, and falls onto the mattress. Apparently, my body thinks that one is not enough, and soon after, I'm laying in bed silently crying. The tears keep coming down, and my nose begins to run as well. I lift up my sleeve to wipe away my spill, and accidentally waking Dan up.

"Y/n.." a sleepy voice says. Dan's eyes flutter open, and widen at the sight in front of him.

"Hey, what's wrong baby?"

"I— nothing, Dan, go back to sleep." I respond, covering half my face in the warm blankets.

"Tell me, please. Let me help."

"Dan.." I say, he keeps looking at me, blinking a few times while expecting an answer.

"I d–don't," I start to say, a sob escapes from deep within me, and I press my hand to my mouth to try and stifle it. Dan pulls me into his chest and kisses the top of my head.

"Sh, sh. It's alright, just tell me what's bothering you." He says, stroking my hair gingerly. I take a few moments to calm myself down, wait until my breath steadies, then I decide to tell him.

"I, I don't deserve you, Dan."

"What on Earth do you mean by that?" He says, shock wrapping around his smooth words.

"Dan, you do such great things, for everyone. I'm just ordinary, and, I can't do what you do. I don't deserve such an amazing man." Dan lifted my chin to look me in the eyes.

"Y/n, if you think that, you are so, so terribly wrong. Just seeing you makes my day brighten, you deserve everything you've ever been given and much more. Please, don't say that you aren't worth it because you are. You're worth it to me, Y/n."

I engulf Dan into a long, semi lazy kiss. He puts his arms around me and hugs me, and I hug him back. We break apart and lay together with our foreheads together. He whispers sweet nothings to me as I fall asleep.

(Time skip)

I wake up alone, the layers of blankets messily drawn over my body. I remember last nights events and smile, gently bringing my hand to my forehead and blushing. I remember falling asleep with Dan, and suddenly find myself wondering where he's gone. I get up, and trudge into the kitchen. Dan is standing my the stove, cooking an omelette.

"Good morning." I say, hugging him from behind.

"Morning, Hun. Breakfast?"

"Yes please."

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Hey!

So this one is probably one of the shortest I've ever written, sorry.

I just wanted to say that my Sherlock Imagines Book is almost at 50 reads! Holy shit! Thank you guys so much.

May we meet again.

- S.W.

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