Dan Howell Imagines

Dan Howell x Reader | I've Been Thinking.

Description: You tend to think, a lot. About anything and anyone all the time. You're laying in bed in one of your thought tornados and Dan joins you.
Warnings: Fluff.
Word Count: 1161
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Inhale, exhale. It sounds so easy, but if you think about it, it's one of the hardest tasks of the day. For me it is at least.

Humans breath approximately 17,000 to 30,000 times per day. That's 720 to 1,200 times per hour and 12 to 20 times per minute. We tend to do it subconsciously, but if, at some point in the day, we notice our breathing and start to do it on our own, it becomes a task. And now that I've thought this, breathing is no longer just a subconscious action, it's now a job.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Then I hold my breath. Maybe if I just stopped breathing everything would be so much easier. My lungs start to scratch and battle for air, and my body let's them win.

I inhale.

That's the thing with our body's. You cannot physically hold your breath to kill yourself, your brain will not let you. You can hold your breath until you pass out, but it requires a degree of willpower that most people lack. However if you do manage to pass out, the involuntary systems take over, and you breath, once again, subconsciously, or I guess in this case, unconsciously.

Now I begin to wonder, do I have the willpower to hold my breath for this long?

So I try.

Inhale, hold.

And hold.

Still hold.

I can't.

Inhale.

Exhale.

It was foolish of me to think that I could do it. I can't do most things so why could I think that I could hold my breath for so long?

The door creaks open.

"Y/n?" I hear my boyfriend say. I would reply but now my thoughts have changed.

My name. I wonder where it originated? Who was the first person to be named, Y/n? What was it like, to be the only person on Earth named that? It bothers me, that there are more people named my name. If everything alone makes me not feel special, the fact that there is more than one Y/f/n
Y/l/n on Earth definitely does not help.

The bed creases, Dan lays down next to me, so I move to let him sit more comfortably, and now in front of me, lays my hand.

Hands are weird. Particularly, the insides. We have nerves, muscles, and arteries. There's little finger muscles and thumb muscles, the carpal ligament, and palmar muscles. And then there's bones. When I feel my hand, I don't feel bones. I look at my hand and flex it. I see some bone-like features, but when I touch them, they bend so there probably just tendons.

Where are my bones?

I feel my hand, but have yet to find any bones in it. I notice Dan looking at me strange, but I'm determined to find my bones. I grow tired of searching with my hands, so I put my hand between my teeth, and bite down. My goal is to make a hole, jut a little one so I can peel away the surface and see my bones.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" Dan asks, taking my hand out of my mouth.

"My hands, there's no bones in them."

"Of course there are bones in your hands."

"Then where are they?"

"Their tucked safely under the muscles, fat, and skin, so you don't break them as easy."

"I've broken my hand before, so the muscles aren't doing a very good cushioning job."

"Well, I said as easy, not not at all." He says.

I look at him, more at his eyes than just him in general. Eyes are great, people say they are the windows to the soul, and I kind of believe that. You can tell someone's mood just by their eyes. For example, evasive eye contact can show discomfort. There's also pupil dilation, that can indicate interest, or just that the room is brighter. And crying, this ones obvious, it's either joy or sadness. Humans are believed to be the only species on Earth to cry.

"What are you looking at?" Dan asks.

"It's not so much looking, as it is thinking." I answer.

"Well, what are you thinking of then?"

"Eyes." I answer simply.

"What about them?"

"They're interesting."

"How?" He asks.

"Windows to the soul, as they say. You can tell a lot about a person from their eyes."

"What can you tell about me?" He asks.

I look at them, deeply. His pupils are large, but we are in the dark so he must be interested. That's something I love about Dan. He's generally interested in my strange thoughts. Most people think my thoughts are stupid or ridiculous, but Dan thinks they are amazing, how I can think so much on such a little topic. It personally drives me mad, not being able to think simply about anything.

Looking back at his eyes, they aren't crying, but they look tired. Probably from editing and sleepless nights from binge anime watching. Eyes can change a lot, but one thing cannot change, and that's the colour. Sure some can get brighter or darker throughout the years, but Dan's eyes have always been Dan's eyes. A beautiful shade of brown that just entrances anyone who gets to look into them. They tell stories that can only be inferred from a real life point of view.

"So, what do you see?" He asks.

"To put it simply, you're interested and tired."

"You never put anything simply." He states.

"Exactly. I know you're interested because your pupils are larger than normal, and it can't be because of the light because we are in the dark. Your interested in what I have to say, I'm guessing, or it could just be that you love me. If it's that case, I love you too. Next, you're tired. It shows from the bags under your eyes, your droopy eyelids and your eyes are a little red. Could be from editing but most likely from you staying up all night watching anime. Don't say you didn't either because I was up all night as well, and I could hear the TV, and the obvious fact that you weren't in the bed."

"Wow." He states.

"Was I right?"

"You were spot on, down to the anime."

We chuckle and I move in to cuddle with him. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my head.

"Stop your thinking, and get some sleep." He tells me.

"I can try." I say, with a yawn.

And sure enough, I fall asleep.

Inhale.

Exhale.

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This story kind of went strange, the original idea was much different but then it became kind of a ramble. I hope you enjoyed it either way!

May we meet again.

- SW -