❝I didn't want to die, I loved life. I just wanted the pain and numbness to go away. ❞
They say people meet by fate, and everyone you meet has a reason for why they're in your life, but what if you didn't have a choice?
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They didn't say anything after that, not for a while at least. They just sat there enjoying each others presence, enjoying each others warmth. They just sat there admiring each other.
She admired his plump lips and his nice bone structure. His dark yet soft black hair and his captivating blue eyes that were a light blue colour, random blotches of a darker blue thrown into the mix. They reminded her of when she was younger and she'd go to the beach, the crystal blue water would be shimmering in a way that was similar to the way her mother's diamond necklace shimmered if you got it at the right angle. But if you went up on the wooden boardwalk and peered over the cold metal railing and into the water, you'd see the point where the water became deeper and darker. Sometimes if you were lucky enough, you'd catch the sea on a good day where the water would slowly combine colours. The lighter blue slowly seeping into the darker blue, and vice versa. That was one of her favourite moments that she can remember from her childhood, watching the sea water embrace each other as if it was meant to be; as if it was planned.
Her gaze fell onto his lips yet again, which were one of her favourite features. The soft and plump lips that reminded her of the kind that models her and Kaylee would sneakily look at had. Grabbing Kaylee's tablet from the living room, they'd sneak it up past her parents and into her room, instantly delving under the covers and looking up some famous models on some social media sites, their eyes scanning their facial features and saying what they liked and disliked. Kaylee would often say that one's nose was too big, or that they had too much makeup, or that their eyebrows were too bushy. Kenzie would just laugh at her friend for pointing out the obvious things. Kenzie liked scanning the same picture for a couple of minutes, just to try and find something that somebody wouldn't normally notice, like the countless times someone would enlarge a certain part of their body, but they'd either forget to enlarge the other one or they'd completely forget to even them out so they'd end up with one abnormally large body part, and one small one. It'd irritate Kaylee at the start, having to wait for her best friend to point out something, but whenever she did, it was always incredibly funny and after a while, Kaylee learnt that the wait was well worth it.
Her mind wandered off yet again, but she was now getting used to it. But this time, her mind went to deeper and darker depths; depths that she hasn't come in contact with, nor conquered. Her mind ran over all of the possibilities that could happen between her and Ryder. Some good, but majority of them were, what she'd consider, hell.
But there was one thought that was recurring, as if her minds trying to drill the possibility into her head. It's that, when she finally says the words that have been on the tip of her tongue for so long, that he won't feel the same. That she'll just embarrass herself and be forced to dig herself a larger hole full of self pity and embarrassment. She couldn't deal with that. Having such strong feelings towards someone, only to have them not feel the same.
