Call it What You Want

2 - They Took the Crown

2016
Taylor's POV

"Can't you assign anyone else to take his case?" I begged James to take Tom off of my source list.

I was at the office for a meeting and was getting angrier by the minute.

"You already made contact with the source." Was his simple answer.

"Well, have someone else make contact," I told him. "It can't be that hard. He's meeting people all the time. I know you have people just like me everywhere."

"You're right, we could send someone else. But, you are the perfect agent for the job. The Met Gala went really well."

"I don't want to be the perfect agent. You don't care about me at all do you?" I asked him.

"What do you mean? You are one of our best assets and informants. You have helped your country greatly."

"Oh screw the fucking country. Screw all of you. That's not what I asked. You don't care about me as a person at all. I'm just some piece of your game that is available to take whatever shit you hand me isn't that right?" I went off. "You are DESTROYING my reputation. Its the only one I've got since I didn't bother changing my name when I took the job. First, you drag me through the mud with Kanye. Now you want me to drop Calvin to get Tom? People already think I'm a serial dater. Soon, they'll think I'm a cheater. If you keep me on this track record, I won't be able to get close to anyone."

"Taylor," James said in his calm and quiet voice. "I know the ops we have been asking you to run have been tough on you personally."

"How can they not be?" I yelled. "They involve my personal life."

"I understand that being a special agent is stressful. Especially in your position," James continued.

I rolled my eyes not wanting to hear him talk about what being a special agent meant.

"We are here to support you. Being in the field in your position does get lonely. We've seen it with other agents."

I scoffed. "Support? Is that what you call encouraging your agents to sleep with their sources to get information?"

"We never ask you to do that or encourage you to do that," James defended.

"But you never stepped in. You never questioned how I got the information because that doesn't matter to you. I have been loyally providing information for over nine years now. You know it would be nearly impossible to replace the kind of position I have. How do you guys repay me? By ruining the name I have built for myself. By sending me on more ops that bring me one step closer to ruining some real friendships that I've built. I didn't sign up for this shit show!"

"Are you finished?" James asked me unfazed by my aggressive rant.

"For now." I sunk down into a chair.

"It's exhausting to be your supervisor." He walked to the water cooler in the corner of the room and brought me a glass of water.

I stared out the window at the New York high rises as I sipped the water. I would give anything to go back to the day when I signed the contract with the CIA and tell myself not to sign it. I was too eager to be a famous singer. Now, all the record breaking albums, tours and awards felt like they meant nothing as I watched my personal life crumble publicly. I had many regrets.

"We need you to finish this op with Tom," James looked me straight in the eyes letting me know that it was non-negotiable. It was as if he heard nothing I said previously.

"Whatever." I gathered my belongings and headed for the door.

"Taylor," James stopped me. "I know when agents hit their breaking point. I know you've already hit yours. Just finish the op with Tom, and I'll see what I can do about moving some cases around after that."

I knew he was trying to be nice and keep me as a good agent, but I replied. "Oh, is that supposed to be a gift for the years of work I've put in or an apology for ruining my reputation?" 

James sighed, "Please don't do anything stupid."

I smiled on my way out the door. The CIA may have me contracted for as long as they want, and they may be able to ruin my reputation, but they are in for a surprise.