Life Without Them (On Hold)

Chapter 1: My New Life

~Sang~

I wake up to the sounds of birds chirping and the twins digging around in my closet; the movement of the boxes and their whispering little voices a dead giveaway. They know what today is, they always know. Last year after our talk, they saw me pack up the letter along with some of the items their fathers gave me; it's all in a box in the back of my closet. I open my eyes and roll out of bed. Walking over to the closet, I see that the door is wide open, and the light is on. I lean against the door frame, and watch as my angels open up shoebox after shoebox, looking for the one that hold the life I lived with their fathers.

"Daddy Luke would be very disappointed in his little spies," I say as I enter the closet. "You're not supposed to wake mommy when you go snooping."

As soon as I finish, I descend on my twins in a full scale tickle attack. They roll around, trying to get away from me, before they realize they outnumber me. I'm soon down on the floor, laughing my heart out as the twins wiggle their fingers all over my sides. I move my arms out to the sides to scoop them up and blow raspberries on their cheeks. After I'm done, my babies have full smiles and my closet looks a mess. I have to say that this is a beautiful start to a less than perfect day.

After we all calm down, I pick up the correct box and place it on my bed before grabbing the twins hands and going into the kitchen. Morgan helps me with the pancake batter while Cole helps me whisk the eggs. Together, we make their favorite breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon. I try to make sure they get a balanced meal, while still being kids. I know that's what their fathers would have wanted if they were here with us, instead of...God only knows where.

After breakfast, I grab the box from my bed and we go out on the balcony. Settling down in the swinging chair Raven set up for us, I begin the story they've heard many times before. I tell them how I met their fathers, about our life together, about their grandparents and aunt Jessica. They sit in silence, immersed in the story that must seem like a fairy tale to them. I never let Uncle and Erica know about the twins; not for any vindictive reason, just so they wouldn't have more to worry about. I never went back to them after that day I begged them to tell me where the boys were. It was painfully obvious that they didn't know, or if they did, they weren't telling me. Whatever the boys told them in their own letters must have been enough to convince them that it was better if I didn't know. It hurt, but over time I suppose I understood.

After taking our yearly stroll down memory lane, I take out the other items in the box. It held lots of things; the bracelet Victor gave me before the homecoming party, the pictures from the little old attic space, the arm bands Silas gave me for his games, all of their personal gifts from our first Christmas together; this box held a lot of memories. The twins wipe my tears as they fall and I hold them close to me. I'm not sure if they will ever meet their dads, but I want them to know all about them regardless.

After I'm all cried out, I pack the box up and put it back in my closet before getting the twins ready for a day out. I'm fastening Morgan's sandals, when there's a knock on the door. I stand up and walk over to the door, opening it to reveal Phil with his luggage next to him.

"Phil!" I squeal as I hug him. "You know you don't have to come by every year. We're doing fine."

"I can and I will. Besides, how else am I supposed to see my three favorite people." He chuckles, taking a step into the house.

"Grampa Phil!" the twins exclaim, rushing over to greet him.

The Academy may not have been there for me when the boys left, but Phil always has, and I make sure the kids know that. He is more of a father to me than my own, and he has no problem with the kids addressing him as such.

"How are my two little munchkins?" he asks them, scooping them up for a hug.

"We're good Grampa," Cole tells him, his light voice musical like his father's.

"We miss you. How come you don't visit more often?" Morgan asks him, her voice soft and airy.

"Well, once I retire I won't have to visit. I'll move here and be with you every day," he tells them with a big grin.

"Because retirement is so close in your future," I say with a laugh.

"I could retire if I want to," he tells me.

"I know you can, but you won't. Not yet. They understand, you love to help people."

"Yeah, we know," Morgan tells him.

"Don't retire yet, Grampa, you still have people to help," Cole chimes in.

"We just miss you, that's all," Morgan finishes.

"Well, I miss you both too, my little Magpie," Phil tells her with a kiss on the cheek.

"What about me?" Cole pouts.

"You too, Collie," Phil says as he plants another kiss on Cole's cheek before setting them down. "Where are you all off too?"

"We are supposed to be going to the park," I hear Axel say from the door. "Good to see you, Phil."

The two men embrace as the twins go to the closet to get their jackets. It's the tail end of summer, but I don't want them getting sick if the weather decides to act up. Axel helps Phil into the guest room before we all head out of the apartment and off to the park.