Urges (Sequel To Vampires Will Never Hurt You)

Chapter Seventeen

Gerard P.O.V

I was still completely numb- from the metaphorical wall that I had built in my mind crashing down and burning before my eyes. Damien knew exactly how to do it- that manipulative little fuck. I hadn't slept that whole night, instead I stared blankly at the walls. Frank would nuzzle into my chest from time to time, but I stayed put. Frozen. Bombarded with every single sad, depressing memory. I remembered why I had always been so sad, why I had so desperately tried to die. Starving myself. Hiding away. However, Mikey kept me living, whether I wanted to or not. He'd find a way to dose me with blood, gaining satisfaction from seeing his brother experiencing some kind of normality. Frank stirred again, opening an eye momentarily, before going right back to sleep. I felt alone again, wanting to cry uncontrollably, to sink back into that dark place.

"Come on Gerard, lets talk about it." Frank said. He wasn't actually asleep, he was probably just trying to check whether I was or not.

"About what." I said blankly, speaking slowly, mesmerised by the wall. It summed up how I was feeling- totally blank, like my brain had gone into overdrive, having thrown all of my emotions out at the same time.

"Well, we'll get to that in a minute." He said, pulling away from me, rolling out of bed. My eyes followed him around the room, watching him get dressed. His body reminded me of the reasons why I loved him- he had changed a lot since I had changed him. He loved himself more, and that made me happy. For a short while, it helped me to forget why I was so upset. But then, everything came back to me in a flood. I hated myself, again. He stood at the side of me, holding out his arms. I got up reluctantly, as he led me over to the dresser. He pulled a clean shirt over my head, as I stared blankly at the wall again. I was seemingly inconsolable, unable to get out of this emotionless rut that I was stuck in. He handed me my jeans that were lying on the floor, I pulled them up my legs without taking my eyes off the wall. "Come on." He said to me again, leading me by the arm to the kitchen.

He instructed that I sat down on the couch, whilst he got us a drink. I stared out of the window at the lake, it's waters rippling from the light breeze. The trees swayed rhythmically, as I found myself falling into a deeper and deeper emotionless coma. I didn't feel normal; I felt broken. Frank sat down in front of me, curling my fingers around a glass filled with blood. Without even thinking, I put the glass to my lips, sipping the red liquid. I felt more satisfied by it than I had done in a long time, knowing that if I wasn't careful- I would revert back to my old ways.

"Last night, before we went to sleep, you said that 'Daniel isn't who he said he is', what did you mean by that?" He asked, I admired him for getting straight to the point. I scoffed, looking into the glass in my hands. I swilled it around the glass, watching it circulate.

"Daniel isn't who he says he is- because he isn't called Daniel. His name is Damien. His sister's name is Reagan. Lacey is not his wife- he's gay, Frank. I would know," I said, taking a huge gulp of blood, closing my eyes. Everything was swirling around my mind like the blood in my glass. "I would know, because I loved him- once. I loved him once, and not anymore." I found myself repeating certain things, but it wasn't easy trying to force memories out when I had trained them to obediently remain in my unconscious. He was staring at me intently, he hadn't drank from his glass. An urge from deep within me wanted to pour some beer into my glass, to get drunk beyond any rationality. It would've helped me to speak out- but it would've hurt Frank. He wasn't allowed to drink anymore, under the strict promise that I made him keep to me.

"Before me?" Frank asked, I stared at him, slightly offended by his question.

"Of course before you Frank, don't be stupid." I frowned, looking away from him now. My attention was back on the lake, the wind seemed to be picking up pace, blowing the water a little more.

"What did he do to you to make you like this- last night? What did he do?"

"I can't read his thoughts, Frank. They're completely blank- he's a ticking time bomb to me. He lied to me, he lied about loving me for me. He and Reagan had already figured out what we were long before I told him, they wanted to be 'young and beautiful forever' just like Mikey and I," I said, feeling anger bubbling deep from within the pit of my stomach. It was the type of anger that made you laugh at how angry you were. To try to stop myself from reaching hysterics, I placed the glass to my lips. I drank quickly, watching Frank set his glass on the table. After wiping my mouth, I found myself reaching for his. I took another large sip, before setting the now half-full glass down on the table in front of us. "I thought that, at last, I had somebody to love me. Before I met you, I thought that he was the answer."

"I'm sorry for agreeing to going over there last night. I couldn't control myself. If I'm being truthful, I wanted to listen to the beating of Lacey's heart." He admitted, and I believed that there was a truth to his words. I looked down at my hands, staring at the tiny details on them. I was trying to distract myself- my mind doing anything to prevent me from opening up to him.

"It's- It's my fault. I should've said no, I should've. But, I couldn't help myself either. I wanted to know if it was truly him, I had my suspicions. I knew that Mikey and Elena had their own suspicions." I said, hating that he was feeling guilty for anything. He was looking down too, and I felt that there was something wrong. I took another sip of the blood, my body thanking me indefinitely, as I tried to make eye contact with him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my words coming out in a more demanding tone than I would have liked.

"I have something to admit to you," he began, looking up at me. In my head I had already jumped to the worst conclusions, had he fallen out of love with me? Did he regret everything that we had? I instantly went into panic mode, standing up, my eyes widening, hands moving towards my face to cover it, "That night, when you came in and I was upset, it wasn't a nightmare."

"I know that Frank, that I do know."

"Daniel- Damien, had somehow managed to get into our cabin. He pinned me to the bed-"

"He didn't touch you, did he?" I growled angrily- in fact I was quite beyond angry. I had the sudden urge to snap somebody's neck without any mercy.

"Gerard he drank my blood- that man that you and Mikey killed, they were obviously working together. That's why he didn't touch any of the blood in his glass, he was waiting for mine." He said, standing up.

I backed away from him, turning around to face the wall that I had grown so fond of. I was going to rip that little blonde head of that body. I growled angrily, wanting to throw and break anything in my path. How dare he try to ruin everything that I had. I pressed my head against the wall, I could hear Frank whimpering behind me. I closed my eyes, tapping my balled fist against the wall.

"Frank Iero, you should have told me," I found the courage and energy to turn around and face him. His bottom lip was trembling- I hated seeing him that way. In the moment, the caring and compassionate Gerard had left (fled) the building.

"I was scared Gerard, he pinned me against the bed. I couldn't move." I whimpered, trying his best not to cry in front of me. I began to pace, my hands held up to my face. I wanted to break, kill, harm something or someone. That someone was Damien. I wouldn't do it to him directly, of course not. I would get him where it hurt, shoot him right in the brains of his God complex.

"I'll fix this." I said quietly, as he sank down onto the couch. I couldn't comfort him, not at that moment. I have to call Mikey, I said, feeling my anger simmer. I had a plan- an unethical one, yes, but I was going to carry it out.

Nobody would hurt my Frankie, not anything from my past.
-------------------------------------------------------
Song Of The Chapter- Born To Die by Lana Del Rey

A.N
I have so much planned for this like SO MUCH DRAMA. Also, how are we liking the extremely long update???

Lemme know what you think, don't forget to comment and vote because it helps me out a lot ;)