A place to belong

Chapter one: Who?

What was exactly going on inside his head when he did that? Like, really, how did he even end up with a crying little bundle in his arms, both completely cold and wet and in the middle of his living room? He just got paralyzed at the fact that he had no clue if this was even the correct choice, or was it? Was it good to take the poor little baby from there?

«Ok. Ok. Let's start from the beginning, breath in, breath out, count to five, relax and rethink your life choices for once» was what the boy thought to himself, closing his eyes and trying not to get consumed by the little boy's cries of... why was he even crying for?! He had no clue, was he hungry? Was he ill? Maybe he needed a change of diaper? What was it?

"Dear mother of -... what do I do with you?" He asked looking down to the crying mess, his thick eyebrows furrowing more worried than anything else and then he decided to quickly get them to the bathroom, better deal with the wet clothes before both catch some cold.

Now many of you would be wondering what is going on right now, and so was doing Paul himself, all he was able to recall was another empty night at the apartment, nothing too out of the usual, the neighbors too loud, the house too cold and the rubbish piling up, actually, not even a needle would fit into the trash can, so better take care of that before it gets to the point where there's no return from being eaten alive by garbage.

Outside it was cold enough to see your own breath, dark skies of one in the morning covered the sky which was full of dark clouds, probably were ready to leave some hours of rain behind at any moment. The back of the apartment building was barely light up by one small streetlamp that flickered, at least it gave light enough for Paul to get down the two little steps that lead him to the narrow space between the backdoor and the wooden fence without falling flat onto the ground. But as he walked closer to the big dumpster he heard a faint noise.

"Huh? What in the earth is that?" He mumbled to himself, frowning slightly as he moved his eyes to the source of the faint but persistent sound. Maybe it was some broken electronic device? A probably injured stray cat? ... a zombie? Well, the last one was completely impossible, those beings were just mere fiction, he probably saw too many horror movies, but right now he felt nervous as he walked to the big container cautiously, still holding the disposable bag ready to throw it at wathever could jump at him right now, but the closer he got, the clear it was to him that it wasn't just any kind of noise.

"No way" whispered as at his mind came the first thing that noise reminded him of, and effectively, there it was.
Behind the big green dumpster was an old handbag, ragged and dirty either from too many uses or the lack of them over years, the noise that now stricked Paul as crying was more clear and even loud, the small little throat already failing at calling out for help the only way they knew how to. It was so heartbreaking that even someone so detached like him couldn't just stay there and do nothing, so he just left what he came to throw away and kneeled in front of the handbag, moving slightly the little red blanket that covered the crying mess of a baby that was underneath, eyes red as well as his teary cheeks, little hands wrapped into tiny fists that just moved sightly like wanting to get out of there, but how not to notice those still short and growing blonde bangs that threatened to take a horn-like shape for future years to come? It was somehow cute, and even when Paul would never admit it, he thought the same, him who never liked kids. At all.

"Hey... hey little buddy, ssh... ssh, it's fine..." his voice sounded low and as soft as he was capable of, his hand over the tiny body rubbing him gently to try and give him any kind of warmth, and apparently that was enough to get the little one to stop his crying for a moment. It was finally this peaceful moment that got his eyes over a little piece of crumpled paper inside the bag, making him reach for it and take a look for any information that could get the kid back to his parents... though, seeing how he found the poor baby it was obvious they weren't planing on getting him back, but maybe any clue could get him back to a relative that might want to give him a home, anything... but the paper was just a terrible disappointment as it only read: "I'm sorry, I just can't do it anymore"

"Damn it..." whispered Paul with frustration on his voice, scratching his growing beard then to the back of his neck as he turned the paper to see if something else was written there, lucky for him, there was a name. "Tord? That's your name, kid?" He asked even when he knew the other wasn't going to give an immediate coherent reply, but at the sound of his name the little boy just seemed to calm down and just stare back at him in silence which made Paul raise one of his big brows. "Well.. guess that answers it"

What happened right after was the moment that even right now the adult-to-be couldn't even process, something run through his head, actually, lots of emotions did. A baby abandoned by his parents in the back of an old block of apartments, in a cloudy cold night, in a semi problematic neighborhood. It seemed like the parents actually didn't want the kid to be found and just be left here to die, and for a moment that thought angered him. He could do even better than that, he had more heart than those bastards did and he was willing to prove it, so he took the boy in his arms carefully.

"It's going to be alright, Tord..." mumbled looking down at the little one who kept those big eyes of his set on his face, until a loud thunder interrupted the moment, breaking into the sky with force as it was followed by a very heavy rain that caught them both, the baby boy crying loudly again scared by the sudden noise.

Lots of things stormed through his head that moment, what if the parents returned? What if the police was searching for him? Was it wise to give him to them? Or maybe take him to an orphanage? Was it even right to abandon him once more? But he wasn't going to remember this very moment at all when he grew up, so why the remorse?

Paul's head kept getting filled up with more and more and more things, so many that he simply pushed all aside and went with the easiest of them all, that right now, as he bathed little Tord, he was starting to regret already.

The little one clapped his hands over the surface of the hot water on the tub, giggling innocently like any kid would do, all while Paul sat on the ground next to the bathtub as he got the little one's blonde hair clean in silence. How was he going to be able to take care of the kid alone? At this very moment he was lucky to be able to even pay rent every month, actually, he was starting to struggle with this month that piled up with what he couldn't pay from last one's... yes, taking the kid now seemed like a terrible idea, kids needed lots of things, for starters, he had no diapers to put him, nothing on the fridge that a baby should eat or even could eat, no clothes for him, nothing to let him to play with, not even a pacifier or a feeding bottle. Just absolute nothing...

It was right then that his neighbor decided to start playing the bass, as loud as ever, which soon put little Tord crying again at the unknown which made Paul roll his eyes and make a frustrated sigh, walking to the wall that collided with the noisy person and giving a rather harsh kick followed by some foul words and threats, which were only answered by louder noises and, in consequence, Tord crying even more. Paul already knew that this kind of thing could be going on for hours on end, but right now there was no time for it, so he got the baby boy out of the tub, wrapped him in a clean towel and held him in his arms, recalling seeing in movies how mothers used to cradle the little ones in their arms to try and calm them down, but apparently this wasn't working at all, so thinking it might be something else he got to the kitchen ready to try and do anything edible for babies.

And no, Tord didn't like the combination of mashed apple with bacon and jam.

This called for an emergency, and so he took the baby boy who kept whimpering and being annoying as hell (but he still felt pity for him, Paul is just not used to kids, not one bit, he has no patience for it), took some coins he had in the tiny dirty counter of his kitchen and hurried out the door to go to the closest convenience store to get something baby-edible.
The night still had some things ready for Paul.

//Ok, so here you have the first chapter! It wasn't that bad, wasn't it? :'D I'm not even sure if I'll be able to make chapter this long, still I'll try to give the best quality I can in next chapters ;v;
Thank you so much for reading, leave some comments or hearts or opinions... anything, really, heh.