Spin Spin Sugar (Gerard Way)

Chapter 12: Friends

For the first time that morning, I woke up happy. Yeah, no joke. No hangover or painful memories from the night before. Just a simple, innocent, lighthearted feeling. It was strange, really, because I've never been used to this. You know... happiness and all. Let's say that wasn't quite my teacup. I'm more like the type of girl who can't leave yesterday behind because tomorrow's at the door.

But I guess there's always a time to surprise yourself.

I was just making coffee with Suko. The water filtered through the beans and made the most irritable sound on earth. But the results were quite shocking for such a cheap device. It smelled like the coffee my dad used to make. I can still remember waking up by the scent of the brew gently invading my senses. It was the first thing that welcomed me every morning- back when I lived in Jersey with my parents. I moved out of there at 18, and  I swore to myself that I'd become a severe journalist before turning 25. My ambitions were the only thing that mattered. I sacrificed my social life, my love life, and my fucking inner peace for that.

I had a couple of boyfriends here and there, well, if you can call them boyfriends. More like a quick fuck and a couple of beers. I remember this one guy - Samuel. I had a massive crush on him in college. I think he was in love with me too. But one time, he got sick of me and found a new girl, one who could love him back. I don't blame him... because I'm unlovable.

I guess you could say I've paid an awful price to end up where I am today. I've never adapted to the adult world, and there's been a hole in my soul since then. I tried fooling myself into thinking it didn't exist, but it never worked.

Now there's just this hole in my soul, and I have to deal with it.

Sometimes I think of my sixteen-year-old self, and it makes me want to cry. How freaking easy it was back then, that careless innocence, I kind of miss it, you know? But not today, though. No, today was a good day.

It was 6 am, the sun had just rose and peeked through the few clouds blocking the sky. The color of it was grey with light shades of blue - the color of loneliness. One in which you cannot tell if it'll rain or not. The vast parking lot was practically empty now. It always felt so surreal, the mornings after a show. All the noises and chaos were gone, leaving you with nothing but memories and probably too much space to think about them. But I liked them, you know, the ghost parking lots. There was something creepy and magic about them. They held the souls of the music that played and the secrets of the people that came. Yeah, anyway, enough poetic rambling for now. I'll save it for later.

As I said, it was early and shit, and we were making coffee. I opened the van's door and wrapped myself up in a blanket, sitting on the edge.

"Sugar?" Suko's voice asked from behind.

"Uh yes, three, please." I said.

She then muffled something under her breath - I turned my head. "What is it?" I puzzled her. She was kneeled on her bed, cautiously waiting for the last drop to hit the pot.

She shrugged. "Nah, just, didn't know you liked it sweet that much."

"Why? You thought I liked it plain?"

"No, more like... strong and bitter." She shot, giving me a taunting look.

"Depends on the situation." I grinned.

She giggled. "Oh, I see." Her pink bangs flew up in the air. She looked tired, but still, pretty cute and all, in her Batman pajamas.

I snorted and switched my attention outside - totally compelled by the nothingness.

"By the way, Mia, what happened with Bert? You didn't tell me last night."

I focused back on her. "Oh uh, well, we made it to his bus..." I paused.