~Chapter 9~

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You shrank away fearfully, shakily rising to your feet and stumbling under cover. You looked down at you palms as you tried flee, but the snow left a track behind you. Your heart pounded against your chest.

"(Y/N) stop! You'll get lost!" Sans yelled, not too far behind him.

"No..." You muttered. "No. No. No. No. No....!"

A demonic cackle ripped through your head. You hissed, clutching your tender head and yanking at your hair to distract you from the things around you. Running away wasn't an option, Frisk needed your help to leave the Underground, but you couldn't be trusted right now. You had been about to pursue a retreating foe, no mercy.

Your mother had always stressed that principle, harping on how Mercy led to weakness, then weakness to death. Giving in and leaving life behind would get you killed, but it wasn't right to you. You didn't want to kill anyone, but so much as defending yourself brought back your horrid memories.

Maybe I should just let myself go... if I'm attacked I'll face the pain. I won't fight back. I. Won't. Kill.

You smiled weakly. "That's right. I won't kill." You muttered shakily. Your hands were still knotted in your head as you laughed. "Do you hear that Chara?!" You laughed quietly, volume growing rapidly. "I won't kill anyone! I refuse! Y-You can't make m-me!"

Your voice started to quiver as a wall of noise overtook you. Deafening static filled your ears as you rocked gently, falling to the ground and rest against a tree as you curled into a ball. Your childhood was reflected in your actions, as everyday you'd do this. Your mother's painful remarks on your weakness echoed in your head like megaphones were being held to your ears. You clasped your hands on your ears, tears streaking new paths against your cheeks.

"No! I don't want to. Just go away. I don't want to." You repeated, nailing biting into your scalp. Red wet broke surface and you shuddered, plunging deeper.

Chara's sinister cackle played in the back of your mind, like music played to intensify a movie. You could feel blood trickle down the front of your face, moving across your brow and taking its path with your tear. You could taste the coppery flavor as it neared your mouth and you went rigid. Your tears fell faster and you cried out a scream of pain.

Your face was buried in your knees as you screamed. Your fingers entangled themselves in your wild mane as you panted desperately for breath. You grew dizzy and panicked.

It was just one dance. One dirty asshole and my switch had been flipped. If it hadn't been for small, what would have happened? Would I have kill someone? Would my soul be surrendered to a relative I never even knew of? Maybe if I died, Sans would care for him. They could use my soul to break the barrier. Frisk could go on without the danger I'd put him in. He'd be happy, right?

You were quiet for a moment, before a sob heaved through your chest. "No, I can't do it. I can't live without Frisk. I'm not strong enough to protect him."

"(Y/N)!!" Sans called again, his cry on deaf ears as you struggled to control your past.

Your chest trembled with shaky breath, your head beginning to feel light and dizzy. You couldn't slow your breathing, even if you tried to. Your eyes were squeezed shut and you tried to focus on something. A sound. An image. Anything. But a roar of silence deafened you. All you could see were memories of a life you destroyed single-handedly.

I Don't Dance, I Perform ~DanceTale!Sans x ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now