Ender's War

Chapter 8 - The Rescue Mission: Part Two

((I am going to start putting Ender's Game quote pictures with my chapters😊^^))

I never understood the science behind the human being longing for affection. In spite of all my years, being taught as part of man kind's last effort to stop the imminent threat of the Buggers, the concept seemed weakening. In Battle school, they taught us that love was weakness and weakness was a means of death. So naturally, Like everyone else I subdued most human emotion. Not as much as Ender did. Nobody became as emotionally closed off as he was. Though, really, he had always been that way. I am not sure if he has gotten better at emotion since his space trek, or worse. Time will tell I suppose. Furthermore, my mind is lost. I have never been a lovesick girl for any part of my life, but every single fibre in my being is pulling me toward the feeling. For some reason the war does not seem to matter. For, my mind-my heart-appears to have made my decision for me.

I love him.

Things are too complicated for love to be all that is required for happiness. Despite my instinctive preferences, my mind understands the value I should hold my confession at. Since, for one, Ender Wiggin is and will always be a very conflicting character. He will always have a battle going on inside himself, and the question is: do I want to have to deal with that? Or should I just move on to find someone else?

* * * * * * * *

"Have you ever wondered what a normal life would have been like?"

"Our lives on this world will never be normal, so what would be the point?"

"Oh, I'm just pondering. I didn't think I was the only one who thought about it, but I guess I could be wrong."

"Just because I don't fantasize about a life on the streets, doesn't mean you are the only one who sees all the lost possibilities you could have had."

Petra nodded, not really sure how to reply to Bean's statement. He was right, in his own way. Before BattleSchool, Bean had spent the better part of his short life on the streets. She hadn't put much thought into it before, but his comment caused her to think about his past; or rather a version that she thought must have happened.

Petra imagined Bean living on the streets, covered in tattered rags, living in a beaten down cardboard box, and all the while, he ate only the scraps he could find in the garbage. Come to think of it, Petra realized that what happened to them because of the International Fleet was better for him, and she doubted that he would want to go back and change it if he could.

"I understand", she finally replied.

A long silence followed until either one of them spoke again. Surely, questions swirled around both of their minds. All of them, relating to the single most important thing they had wanted for the past year and some. Rescue. A few months after they got stranded, Petra and Bean had both disregarded the idea. For, there was little chance that anybody believed they were alive; the odds are, nobody would have come looking with Peter Wiggin in command anyway.

So, putting all of their faith into an ansible letter sent from an anonymous messenger, they waited. Well, of course, they both knew who the letter was inferred to be sent from. The question was, however, was it actually Ender? As far as both of them knew, Ender Wiggin had disembarked for a bugger planet over two years ago. It was no stretch for them to have doubts regarding the letter's legitimacy considering The Court Martial's ruling, and Ender's new assignment. To Petra, it gave her hope. Though, to Bean, he took the message as a half-truth. In other words, he would believe it when he saw it.