A Different Virus - Laura's Story

Chapter 38

I tried to act normally. I didn't want to alarm Diane and I was pretty sure if I said anything that it would land Lilly in hot water for her words. I didn't know how to react with this newfound grief. The realization was new, but the event had occurred over a year ago.

I continued picking mushrooms and helping others ID ones they were unsure. I wasn't able to tease them or laugh or giggle like I usually did. I was sure that others noticed that I was out of sorts. I refused to help Lilly though. I was scared that I would start crying.

Lilly was still making her dislike of Diane known with her body language, although she hadn't actually said anything else. Brett was clearly not happy with Lilly and many of the other members didn't seem to approve of her earlier words either. When I refused to look at her or respond to her questions she had been forced by Brett to go to Diane for an answer.

Lilly had clearly hated every second she was near Diane, but Diane had been impressively calm and gave her the exact explanation that she had given others. Some days her tolerance and patience seemed to know no bounds. Perhaps she was setting an example.

It took them almost half an hour to get the bus started. We would have taken horses, but we had gone quite a long ways from the Fort. I was glad once we had everything unpacked, I really wanted to get away from Lilly.

Diane offered to take me to the playground, but I didn't feel like playing. My heart still hurt from what I had learned today. I wasn't coping well and didn't know where to start. I was trying to hide it though. When Diane went out for her run tonight I could cry. I just had to hold out until then.

Life with my parents had been nothing like what it was at the Fort. I had a desire for old comforts and had asked if we could go to the room with the exercise bike and read a book. She had agreed easily. I sat on her lap and handed her a book.

She blinked slowly at the cover, The Rescuer's Down Under, but didn't comment. My parents had always read me the Disney books and I hadn't even touched one since Diane had appeared. Diane started reading in soft clear voice. I let the story of the boy, two mice, and the giant eagle distract me.

We finished the story just in time for supper. The others at the table noticed I wasn't in my usual good mood and tried to cheer me up, but they had no way of knowing that it simply wasn't possible to cheer up someone who had just realized that their parents were zombies.

If I had gone downstairs in the house my mother would have tried to kill and eat me. I simply couldn't come to terms with it and it ate at me like a worm in an apple. Diane must have known that something was bothering me, but she didn't ask. She always let me decide when to bring up anything that was bugging me. I appreciated the silent attempt to give me some space.

Diane had occasionally needed some time alone after funerals to grieve, but I hadn't had a chance to be by myself yet. Normally I detested alone time and Diane had always stuck close or had someone else with me. This was the first time I actually wanted to be alone for a bit.

Rick came and I went off for more training. I really hoped that it would distract me. Diane went off for her usual practice with the other fighters.

I was so wrong that it was almost physically painful. Today we were practicing evading zombies in a house. Having to scout out and run and hide in a house from the Donovan zombie brought back memories from my own home when I had been blissfully unaware of the state of my mother.

It reminded every second that they were forever gone. If emotional pain gets bad enough, it can hurt physically. I tried to hide it, but must not have been succeeding that well since Rick kept trying to make really bad jokes to try and cheer me up. I was so sunken in misery that I could only stare blankly at his jokes. I couldn't even find humor in how red he had turned as his jokes fell flat on the floor.