stargirl → chris & eva

e l l e v e

│ s t a r g i r l │
‣ chapter eleven ‣

As soon as the words leave his mouth, I don't believe it. I can't get my mind to process what he has told me. I don't know what to feel either. What should I feel? Relief? Anger? Comfort?

No way. This can't be possible. He couldn't have - he wouldn't.

I'm unable to even respond.

Tears brim over my eyes. I follow my gut instinct which tells me to get the hell out of here. Get the hell away from him. As far as I can go.

So that's what I do. I turn around and start to run away. Chris calls me in the distance but I don't let myself listen, I run as fast as I can.

When I climb back over the fence, hot tears are already trickling down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away but it's useless - more come to take their place.

I've never felt so used.

I stifle a sob as I quickly get into the car. My finger slams down on the locks button repeatedly until I'm sure he can't get in.

"Come on, Eva! Don't do this to me."

Chris's eyes stare over at me with guilt and plead. His hands come up to the window.

I tear my gaze away from him and ignore anything he has to say.

He begins to bang his fists on the window, screaming out apologies, all that are laced with rage. He's shouting that he's sorry, but does he really mean it?

I can't even look at him. I've never met anyone so disgusting. He's a fucking narcissist.

I press the engine button and drive away. I speed off back to campus where I rush inside the building and head straight to my dorm room.

My body is so consumed with the hurt that by the time I fall into my bed, I can barely contain it anymore. I hold my face as tears relentlessly pour from my eyes.

Everything he did. Everything he told me. It was all a fucking lie.

The door creaks open. I freeze.

"Oh for Christ sake! She's asleep," I hear Noora speak up. "The party starts in about an hour."

"Just leave a note for her until she wakes up again," Sana recommends. "I don't think she'll be out for long."

"Okay." Noora lets out a small sigh. I hear a paper ruffling followed by a quick scribble. I feel her tower over me when she places the note on my bedside table. Then she leans down and kisses the back of my head.

"Happy birthday, Eva," she whispers. I want to turn around and sob my heart out into her chest as she holds me tight but I decide against it.

When the both of them leave, my cries become more infrequent until they stop. I pull myself up from the bed with a sniffle and walk over to my closet.

It's not soon until I read the note Noora left for me which gives me an address of the party hall she's hosting my surprise birthday at.

I don't even bother to make an effort. I wash my face to remove the mascara stains under my eyes before I slip on a cotton jumper along with a pair of washed denim jeans. I grab my coat and exit the building.

The only reason I'm going to the party is for the alcohol. I feel better when I'm drunk. The pain is less severe.

Nothing goes my way, however, because the moment I enter through the double glass doors, he stands right there, at the corner of the room. He's drinking his sorrows away, just like I intended to.

The waterworks take place again.

Even after what he's done to me, why do I still want him so bad? Why does it have to be him?

Why Christoffer Schistad?

Suddenly, he catches my gaze.

He stops in his tracks and stares over at me. His arm falls to his side, the glass bottle in his clutch dropping too. Nobody draws attention to the smashed bottle due to the loud, pumping music.

Chris begins to walk towards me. His eyes stay connected to mine as he barges through the cluster of people taking up space between us.

The more I look at him, the more I feel broken.

I turn around to leave, but he pulls me back. His hand comes to my face, forcing to twist my body around to face him.

Our eyes connect in sync.

Chris exhales deeply. "You can't leave me, Evaline. I won't let you."

I do the first thing that comes to my mind. My hand lifts up to his cheek and I hit it. He doesn't flinch at all when I do so.

"I deserved that."

I whack him again.

"And that too."

"Fuck you." I spit venomously at his face.

Once again, I run away from him. I spin on my heel and rush out of the building. The rain mercilessly pours down on me.

"Evaline! Get back here. You're not going anywhere." I hear Chris shout.

He yanks my arm back, making me stumble around.

His hair has become one with his face, wetly draped over the bone structure that drives me crazy. I wonder if he knows how insane that drives me, how I tremble to feel every inch of his skin.

"Listen to me. You don't get to fucking do this. This isn't fair. This isn't right."

"Then what the fuck is right, Chris? Huh? None of this is normal, none of this is right!"

"We're right, Evaline! We're so fucking right."

"How dare you take advantage of me like that?"

"Stop acting like you don't like what I do! If you hated me so much - if you hated this so much, you would've left long ago, darling. Face it, you like being controlled by me. You like this because you like me."

I stay motionless in my spot. Silent and still.

"So, Evaline. We're going to continue whatever we want to do whenever we want. Because you need this and so do I. So, video or not, I still own you."

I'm at a loss for words by the time he finishes. I stare over at him intently as he does to me. My eyes fall to his plump wet lips. Instinctively, I close up the space between us and lean close to his face.

"Kiss me." I whisper.

His lips part and his shoulders relax.

Chris kisses the droplets from my lips and I feel his lips smile against mine. The rain runs down our faces where our lips mingle with one another, each of us tasting the cold drops.

The wave that runs through me is intoxicating.

It's like he's a drug.

And I'm addicted.

✧

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- all the love, malika