Faith Has Gotten Me This Far

Chapter 10

I can't believe I haven't updated this in over a year. I guess what happened was what always happens, life gets in the way and new priorities come up. I've gotten so much older since I started writing, however I hope the viewers get the chance to continue reading this piece. I have to say that looking back on it and re-reading it is quite weird, but I will make a promise right now that I will finish it. Thank you to anyone who reads! xx

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It had been three days since I had last spoken to Harry, besides on the phone that is. 

He's been quite busy preparing for tour and all the boys' responsibilities seemed to have come up so sudden. After all, I had to keep reminding myself that they all were such popular celebrities and dedicated artists, especially Harry, and I needed to realize that first and foremost.

My surgery was performed yesterday and right now all I can feel is numbness, from the ends of each hair on my head to my toes. 

They say the surgery went well, and I would be completely back to normal in a little less than a week, quite a faster healing time period than I suspected. However, the main focus for now is to get back to my wonderful super star of a boyfriend, and back to my life. School would be starting up in a few months, and I really didn't want to think about that right this second. It stressed me out by simply thinking about it in general. 

My time mostly consists of sleeping; dozing off every now and then when I'm not eating the tasteless hospital food and watching tv for a few hours per day. I have even been fitting in a bit of reading for a certain amount of hours every day to keep myself occupied, and also as a distraction from the current situation with not seeing Harry. 

It seems like years have passed since I last caught sight of his curly brown hair and loving smile, or gotten to touch his soft skin and kiss his gentle lips. Its only been about a week, and that has hurt worse than my injuries did themselves. 

I had just to be patient. Things would be okay and they would return to how they were before I know it. Patience is what I need.

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Harry's POV (same day)

The boys and I have just finished rehearsing for what, the hundreth time?

God, it's all we've been doing the past week. It has all seemed like too much to handle. 

I know that going back on tour is a big deal, and it's important not only for our careers but for the fans, but I'm just so tired.

I miss Brittany. I really miss her big, brown eyes and her long, messy hair. I miss the feeling of her touch and her soft, pink lips. I'd give anything to spare time to go see her.

Management has been on us more than ever these days. "Your relationships cannot be the main priority here! Performance is what matters, forget about your social life. You signed with us and because of that, we intend to make sure everything goes smoothly for you guys, and we all get what we deserve," some guy named Jim said to us in a lecture we were given at yesterday's rehearsal. I'm just getting more and more tired of this career. I love what I do and I'm dedicated to this job, but I can't take the pressure anymore. There's nothing I can really do anyway, I'll just have to deal with it. 

Everytime I'm singing the lyrics of "Kiss You" or "Little Things" I can't help but think about her, and it kills me. 

"Alright guys, take ten," Paul yelled from somewhere amongst the seats in the empty audience. I felt dizzy, like I was about to give in to the world's grip. All the pressure was building up in the moment. 

Zayn came up behind me and placed his arm on my shoulder lightly. 

"You okay mate?" he asked, concerned. His expression looked worried, though I couldn't see it cleary through my blurred vision. I needed to rest. 

"No, I'm not," I responded, stumbling on my words as they came out of my mouth. "Get me to a chair or something please..."

"Hang in there, Harry. Hang in there lad...." Louis' voice echoed in my ears and an image of Brittany's face entered my mind as the darkness took over it.

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Brittany's POV

Tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day I would finally see Harry again. Just yesterday I had received a call from Louis that Harry had passed out at rehearsals. I was so worried about him, he was being worked so hard and I knew I was the only one who could be there for him, and I couldn't be. 

I had done a lot of thinking during my time in this white, lonely hospital room. My family had come visited me a few times with worried looks and fake smiles. They left me feeling so empty. 

I've thought about how maybe I wasn't so healthy for Harry. Not only for his career, but for him in general. Those girls beat me up only because I was Harry's girlfriend, and they were jealous. I needed to avoid that. I have become so torn between letting him go and just being with him because I loved him and I knew nothing else. I have finally come to the conclusion that I need to let him go, simply because I love him and it would be the best for the both of us. 

Maybe, just maybe, in future we could fall for eachother again. When I'm older and ready for more things. I always felt like I was too young to do most things with him and that always got in the way. Age is just a number, but with Harry it has started to show quite a bit of importance in our relationship. 

In three to four years, I knew I would be ready. 

He says he would wait for me forever, but could he even wait a few years? I didn't know, and although I trusted Harry, I wasn't sure if he could afford to hold on, with him being so busy and holding the attention of so many girls. It would take a lot of strength, and of course a lot of love, which I knew we held between us. 

Maybe it would be okay. 

I just didn't know anymore. 

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Brittany's POV

It's three in the morning and I can't sleep. 

I want it to be tomorrow. 

I want so badly to see him and to feel him right beside me.

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Harry's POV

I can't sleep, and I think it's like three in the morning. 

I didn't know what to expect for tomorrow. I didn't know what to say when I would see her. I didn't know. 

God, get a grip Harry. Everything will be fine. 

I want to touch her hand so badly. I want to look into her eyes. I long for the taste of her lips. 

If I sleep now time will move faster, but I knew that wasn't possible.