Until You (A Theo James Fanfic)

Chapter 30

Aaliyah~

Lola pops in and talks to me for a while before taking Riley. After what happened with my mother, we just sit in silence. That is, until the doctor come in.

"Hello, Aaliyah. How are you feeling today?" We all look at him. I'm relieved that he has broke the silence. It was becoming unbearable.

"I'm doing good." He nods and writes a few things down on his clipboard. Flipping the pages and nodding to himself.

"Well, I have some great news for you. You are all ready to leave." I smile, and so does Theo.

"That's amazing, thank you." I stand up, and make my way to the bathroom where clean clothes await.

I can hear Theo and the doctor talking outside, so I put my ear to the door.

"She may not be able to control herself. She shows signs of PTSD. So please be careful around her. Anything can trigger the memories of the past month."

"So you're telling me that.. that she's different?" At least one of us said it.

"She isn't different. She is still the same Aaliyah she was when you two met. Yes, some things may be different, Mr. James. But she is still the same."

"What are the symptoms?"

"Agitation, fear, guilt, self destructive behavior, mistrust. And the thing that I think she shows most is emotional detachment."

"What does that mean for her?" Fear laces his voice. But I don't know if it's of me or for me.

"Emotional detachment can be two different things. In the first scenario, it means to not be able to connect with others on an emotional level, or being unable to control anxiety due to things that trigger it. It is usually known as 'emotional numbness' and that is what I believe she shows. She doesn't show signs of.. caring as much. Is what I should say."

"She's not the same.." I don't realize that I'm crying until I try to stifle my cries with my hands. He's right. I'm not. I'm not the same.

What if he doesn't love me anymore? What if he hates that I've changed? I don't think I could deal with that. He's changed my whole life. Without him, my life would be more empty than it was before.

I finish getting changed and I open the door. The doctor is gone, and Theo wipes away his eyes. He stares at my face with confusion.

"Are you okay, love?" I stare at the floor. I ball my fists at my sides and close my eyes.

"I still love you." I whisper, weakly. He comes closer to me.

"What?"

"I still love you." I try and say it louder this time. I look at him, his eyes glazed over. "I know.. I know I'm different. I've changed. But I.. I still love you." I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to keep from crying.

He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls me in and I squeeze him. I can't stop the river from flowing out of my eyes. "I still love you." He puts his head on top of mine.

"I know." I can tell he's crying due to his wavering voice. We stand there forever holding each other. He rubs my back as I cry.

"Let's go." I nod my head and pull away from him. We hold hands and walk out. We walk out of the building and almost immediately cameras flash. My head throbs. Theo covers me.

"Everybody stop!" The cameras stop, but the occasional flash goes off. "Do you realize what she's been through? She has a severe concussion and I swear to god if it gets worse because of your cameras, I will ruin your careers just as easily as it came." Their faces drop. All the cameras stop. Every single one. Instead, an opening forms for us to walk through. Theo pulls me along with him.

He looks back and smiles. But it isn't a full smile. He's hiding something. I know he is. Why won't he tell me? He trusts me right?

We get into his car and the smell refreshes me. I breathe it in. It smells just like him. Just like I remember. I smile at the memory but then look at Theo.

He is grave and doleful. The wheels turning in his head. Obviously working something over in his mind.

"Theo.." he looks over at me, pain behind his eyes. He's hiding something. But it's not to hurt me. He's not hiding it because he doesn't want me to know. He's doing it because he loves me. "What is it?" He sighs and rubs his face, slowly finding a way to tell me.

"I have to go to England. For a movie audition." My heart falls. I look away, my eyebrows draw together. It feels like I have been punched in the gut a hundred times a second. Like I can't breathe.

"No. You can't." I realize how selfish this must sound. So I ask him a question. And I don't know if I want a response. I quietly say,"When?" And he let's go of my hand and turns the key. It can't be that bad. It can't.

We start driving. "Theo." He doesn't say another word. "Please." He grips the steering wheel, and I can see he's tense. He's nervous and that makes my stomach churn.

"Two days." I clench my jaw and I look out the window. I nod. Reassuring myself that it will be fine. He'll be back in no time. He'll film the movie and he'll come back in a week. Right?

Wrong.

Movies take forever to film. And not to mention the interviews. He'll be everywhere. All over the place. He won't have time for me. For us.

"It'll be okay." I don't know if I say it out loud or to myself. Theo's eyebrows stay low over his eyes. His mouth creased in a tight line.

I look out the window, hoping that this is just a dream. That every horrible thing will disappear and I can just be with Theo. I can be with him and Riley and we can be a family. I'll love him and he'll love me and everything will be right in the world.

We arrive to my house fairly quickly. I get out of the car and get up very slowly. I stand outside. Not daring to go in.

Am I ready? Am I ready to be a mother again? What if I can't be what Riley needs anymore? What if I screw everything up? I can't stand the thought of once again disappointing Riley. Or becoming my mother.

But Theo's fingers intertwine with mine. And it's like every care goes away. His warm hand sends a reassuring feeling over me. It doesn't matter that he's going to England, it doesn't matter that I'm not the same person I was a month ago. Because I have him. And I know we'll be okay.

"Theo." I bite my lip and he tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, caressing my cheek.

"Yes, love?" I look at his tired face, ready to pour my heart out. Everything I've felt for him builds up in my chest like a pit of pressure. And it comes out.

"My whole life has been a mess. I didn't know how long I was going to make it. I was so weary and I didn't know who I was. And then you came into it. I've been confused and I've been so lost. I was always.. alone. And I had forgotten what it felt to be loved. Until you."

He kisses my forehead.

"I love you." Sincerity lies behind his caramel eyes. His golden eyes that I missed so much. I can tell there's so much more he wants to say. And I'm glad he doesn't.

We walk up to the house, ready to start our new life together.

---

The end!

A/N:

I want to thank you all for your support throughout this story! It means so much to me. I never thought I would be here with over 1k reads. Thank you for all you do!

Special shoutout to @cherries_12! I totally appreciate every comment. You really helped me through my writers block and self doubt about this story!

Thank you for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed!