Would it hurt- Hanfic

Chapter 14- If only they let me lose

TAYLOR POV

   "OW! Fuck..." I muttered as my finger slid across the page of my English textbook, "Fucking hate paper cuts..." I said as the cut started Turing crimson with my blood. I tossed my textbook aside and jumped off the bed and headed towards the bathroom to get a band-aid. The shower was running. I knocked.

   "Zac?" I asked, no answer, "You almost done in there?" Again, no answer. I shrugged and pushed open the door. Apparently Zac wasn't in there because he would've yelled at me for just walking in. I scrunched up my face and scanned the small room, there was a piece of paper folded on the toilet seat. I picked it up. It read: 'I'm sorry -Zac' "Zac...?" I slowly started walking towards the shower curtain and gripped the side of it, taking the risk of seeing my brother in all of his glory. I yanked it back to find the most horrifying scene I'd ever seen in my life.

My little brother. My poor, helpless little brother. My innocent little brother, lying on his side, his eyes closed, a bottle of what looked to be painkillers hanging loosely in his grip. I screamed the loudest scream I'd ever screamed.

    "OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY FUCK!!!! GOD FUCK....NOOOOO!!! NO ZACKY NOOO! PLEASE!!!!!!" I yelled as tears ran freely down my cheeks. I didn't even know I was crying. I turned off the water and kneeled beside Zac. I heard faint footsteps running up the stairs.

    "MOM!!!!! HELP!!!" I screamed.

    The door busted open and there stood my mom and Ike, their mouths hanging open, tears running down their face.

    "OH MY GOD!! I-ISAAC CALL 911 RIGHT NOW!!" My mother yelled. Ike just stood there, shocked, "ISAAC! NOW!!!!!" Isaac snapped out of it and ran out of the room, in search of the phone. My mother screamed so loud I thought my head was gonna explode.

    "ZAC!!!!!! FUCK!!! NO!!!! PLEASE ZACHARY!! COME BACK!!" She yelled at my lifeless little brother.

    Some of my senses came back and I felt for a pulse. It was faint, but it was there. Zac was alive....for now.

   "HES ALIVE!! MOM!! HES ALIVE!!" I yelled relieved, but not yet content.

   Suddenly the sounds of sirens filled my ears. The medics were finally here. I heard the door open and multiple different footsteps running up the stairs. Then, about five big burly men busted in. They pushed us aside and picked up Zac, pulling him onto a stretcher. They ran out of the bathroom and hauled Zac outside. My mother and I managed to stand up and run after them, not wanting to lose sight of Zac.

Isaac, my mom and I watched as they pulled Zac into the back of an ambulance. I jumped in the back of it. I was staying with Zac until I couldn't anymore.
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"He's gonna be okay..." We're the first words I heard from the doctor five hours later that day. My eyes swelled up with tears. I couldn't believe it. He was gonna be okay!

"Obviously his mental state isn't healthy and we'd highly recommend-"

"Can we see him!!" My mother interrupted.

The doctor sighed, "Yes, but only one at a time. He's still unconscious and if he were to wake up to multiple people in the room, it could be dangerous."

They all looked at me. I found him. I got to see him first. I nodded. Here we go.
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ZAC POV

I heard his voice. I heard his cries, but I couldn't seem to respond. My eyes wouldn't budge open and I felt more numb then ever, yet in a lot of pain at the same time.

"Zac...I-I didn't know it was this bad...I would've helped you if I'd known..." Taylor cried. I wanted to cry. They didn't let me die.

'You can't help me, Taylor. No one can. I'm a lost cause. You should've just let me lose' I said silently to him.

"I'm sorry, Zac....I'm so sorry....but why did you never talk to me??"

'Why should I? Because talking's gonna do much...?'

Suddenly I heard the wrinkle of paper, "Oh....I forgot I put this in my pocket...I haven't read it yet, Zac...." I knew he was talking about my note.

It was silent for a while. He was probably reading it. Then, he sniffed, "God, Zac....why did you not tell me you were feeling this way...?" I heard him sniff then, he grabbed my hand and started to sob. I could feel his warm breath on my hand but I couldn't make out what he was saying.

    I tried so hard. I used all my might. But, I moved my fingers to grip his has tightly as I could. I heard his gasp, "Zac?! Zac?!!"

   I heard a few distant moans, then I realized I was the one moaning. My eyes slid open and started it's difficult task of focusing of Taylors' face.

   His hand cupped my cheek as he caressed my face, "Oh, Zac. I-I thought I lost you..." He cried.

   "Water..." I rasped.

    "Oh! Here!" He said, handing me a cup with a straw on it. I slurped it down. After I was done, I stared at the ceiling.

   "You should've let me go." I mumbled.

   Taylor gasped, "Zac, I could never ever let you die like that. I love you so much and it would kill me if I lost you."

   "It was for the best."

    "Don't you see though?! It's not! Zac, you have a whole life ahead of you and-"

   "Shut up. I just wanted to die. Can't I ever get anything I want?"

   Taylor sniffed, I hated causing him so much pain, but the words had to be said. The deed should've been done.

    "You don't wanna die, Zac. You just don't realize it yet. Please....don't try this again..." tears ran down his cheeks.

   I didn't get to answer, a doctor came in. "Look who's awake!" He said cheerily, "I'm Dr. Neil and I'll be making sure you're healthy and ready to go home!"

    I internally groaned. I just wanted to die.