A New Estate - Crimson Peak

Chapter Seven

Going about my goal of tidying the master bedroom was all that kept me from breaking down and weeping continuously, occasionally my throat would tighten and ache making breathing a little difficult. At those times I'd have to stop, using a few minutes to take a break and recollect myself.

On most breaks I found myself leaning on the balcony that looked over the main hall from the master suite, my eyes roaming the hall as I took deep breaths to control myself.

When this happened I had to find something to distract my mind, the usual thought to help with this being about how unusually set up the manor was.

A balcony in the bedroom overlooking the main entrance seemed off and impractical to me and yet it fit into Allerdale's aesthetic so well.

A strange design for a strange place.

As the sun finally disappeared and all the candelabras were ready with flames for the night, the room was at what I can only imagine was its former glory.

Though the room was still dark, the place looked more welcoming and much less cluttered. The dust had added such a dreary atmosphere before, but now it was cleared and everything was more organised I felt more at home.

Though it didn't fully halt my apprehension of staying another night here.

I flopped onto the freshly made bed rather inelegantly and let out a loud, semi satisfied groan.

Every inch of me ached, but it was completely worth it to have a room I could call my own in what still felt like someone else's house.

All the unneeded items that belonged to the previous occupant had been stashed away in the cupboard nearest the window, some of my own items, ones I had managed to fit into my travel bag as the others were packed in boxes I was still waiting to arrive, took up space at the small writing desk.

I led on the bed and stared at the ceiling, starving but too tired to get up and make anything.

Though I was also too anxious to go down into the kitchen, not after what happened mere hours earlier that had shaken me to the core.

It was times like this when I wished that I still had my handmaiden, although at home I despised the thought of the lower class being seen as less than us and only good for serving the upper classes, sometimes you just miss the privilege.

At least Father paid ours well, he has always been a kind and perhaps overly generous man, always putting others before himself.

From what Father told me, the Sharpe's were of a lower class though you'd have to have looked at the details to tell. The lavish house was more a prison as they struggled with money and getting Thomas' machine up and running, let alone usable for mass production.

The stories I had been told, which were admittedly very few, made me feel faintly sorry for them.

A brother and sister, left alone in a large house after their mother had passed.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere with hardly any money and a manor that was either falling apart or gradually sinking, that should be a life for none but the worst criminals of society.

But it's no wonder they didn't have handmaidens to keep this place up to standard if they couldn't afford to feed themselves properly.

"They must have been so fragile."

It was then that I recalled the retelling of Edith's story, of how Lady Lucille had effectively gone a little loopy and killed her brother before trying to murder Miss Cushing.

"Or maybe not."

I scowled a little and shook my head, glaring towards the ceiling.

"You've heard so many stories, it's not fair for you to judge and presume," I reprimanded myself, "just as you don't know of their living and food habits."

Despite the fact I'd only based my opinion on logic and scattered stories, I still felt a bubble of unwelcome guilt in my chest for thinking negatively about the dead.

Although I was the one telling myself off, I still found myself letting out a childish huff at being put in my place.

I sat up on my newly assigned bed and brushed a bit of my hair away from my face, setting my booted feet on the floor, I stood up and dusted my dress off. Placing my hands on my hips, I took another glance around the room and smiled triumphantly, another job well done.

"Only another one hundred or so to go," I laughed halfheartedly, "if I can even cope with staying here long enough to get to the others."

My heart jolted at the thought, torn about being too cowardly to even consider staying despite everything my parents had gone through to buy me this manor.

The workmen were still due to arrive and, presuming they were traveling to the North West from the South West as I had, it seemed unfair to put their time and efforts to waste. Whether Father had paid them already or not didn't matter, I felt that to up and leave before work could continue would be a disservice to them and my family.

"You're a big girl," I encouraged myself, "Mother and Father are paying to do this house up just for you, so don't be selfish and throw that back in their faces."

I nodded with grim determination and strode out of the room, taking one of the lit candelabras off the writing desk as I briskly walked past.

The house was not going to best me.

I'd already been reduced to panic and tears, which was ridiculously uncharacteristic for me, all over a few odd mishaps.

That would be the last bout of panic Allerdale would see from me.

Mere hours ago I had intended to clear the table in the master bedroom and write a letter of apology and begging to my parents, not daring to spend anymore time on the ground floor near that kitchen.

All the time of cleaning and thinking over what I'd write in the letter had me wishing that one of those fancy telephones I had read about once were available to the masses, so I could hastily contact my home and pray for them to take me back much faster than any letter could do.

I desperately longed for transportation to be easier and for the post office to be closer so I could go back to Wiltshire, back to my family and safety.

Distracting myself with tidying had worked wonders in helping me calm down, although it wasn't my original intention to tidy and rearrange the entire room.

A new, and vaguely grim, determination swelled in my chest as I headed back down the stairs as swiftly as I could, aiming for the kitchen I'd tried to avoid until hunger became too much to bear.

I was not going to let the things in Allerdale Hall scare me off.

I was not going to be a coward.