A New Estate - Crimson Peak

Chapter Thirty Seven

That afternoon passed slowly in a solemn silence, no one having anything to say as the grief weighed down on us.

Nathaniel's passing had hit everyone hard and the fact that he would no longer be around to regale us with stories of his life was surreal, almost inconceivable.

Much as we had with David, we set about preparing a burial site past the gates of Allerdale Hall, on the opposite side to his previous bosses' resting place.

Hille's leg and Jonathan's arm were useless to help with the digging of the hole and the planned carry out of Nathaniel's body, though both had been patched up better once we had gotten inside they still were in no fit shape to be doing anything extra strenuous.

After the hecticness had settled and everyone was sorted, we had each gone our own separate ways to process the morning's events.

I took this opportunity to get away from the manor, opting to go for a long walk towards the dead trees far off in the distance.

China happily charged off in front of me, no doubt enjoying a break from the atmosphere that she didn't quite understand the shift in.

The quiet was engulfing, not even birds flew nearby, it seemed that the only thing around was us and the vast amount of moths.

My mind was a chaotic mess of too many thoughts, all battling one another to be dwelled on first and resulting in nothing but a mass of confusion.

As they refused to clear, I decided to focus on China and hoped that her excited bounding would be enough of a distraction and it worked for a short while, I more found myself wondering why she had tethered herself to my side rather than sticking by her owner when he wasn't working.

Not that I was complaining, I adored having a dog around and hadn't realised just how much I missed having something to ruffle until she had arrived, it was just a thought that stuck out as I watched her heart-warming display of chasing and barking at nothing but the breeze.

Gradually, the heaviness in my chest returned and even China couldn't alleviate the weight and the anger at the one to blame.

Nathaniel's death had been the final straw and finalized my decision to be rid of Lucille if I could.

Truthfully, I wasn't entirely sure how to go about doing such a thing.

Thomas helped to prove that simply removing the body wouldn't get rid of the spirit and none of the stories that I had read while growing up had ever agreed on the way in which to rid of a ghost, but something had to be done.

First I had to be sure that her body was where Thomas said it was and that meant digging around in the red clay, which wasn't an appealing thought but it had to be done to confirm my suspicions.

Ahead of me, China suddenly froze and stared off into the tar tree line, her ears twitching as they tuned into sounds I'd never be able to pick up.

What did catch my attention, and eventually the dog's too, was a calling of my name that grew ever closer.

Letting out a long sigh, I shook my head and looked over my shoulder.

"Please Robert, not now."

He slowed down as he neared me, barely out of breath.

"I'm sorry, but we need to talk," he said, "away from the others."

"Now actually isn't the time for that."

"It may be the only time we have."

"Then I shall be blunter, I have nothing to say to you right now."

"Then allow me to speak and you only need to listen."

"I feel as if you aren't giving me any particular choice."

"Perhaps I'm not," he laughed, though his smile was humourless.

Suppressing the urge to scoff, I turned away and continued walking, leaving Robert to decide if he truly needed to speak or not.

It seemed that it was needed as he caught up quickly to walk by my side.

"I feel that I should apologise."

"That may be a choice place to start."

"It's only fair, I am sorry that this is how you found out, I don't want you to mistrust me."

"I see."

"I just..." Robert trailed off, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Just what, Robert? Wish to manipulate my emotions so that you and Sir Sharpe can continue this pipe dream of his?"

His eyes widened and he looked at me in astonishment.

"No!"

"Did I even matter in this equation? Or were you simply using me to keep access to the manor?"

"Of course not."

"Then what is it, Robert? You made me feel foolish with my ghost talk only to be in cohorts with one of them."

"It's not anything like that."

"So what is it like? Because you don't seem to understand, now I have to look these men in the eye and act as if this was all some freak accident," my throat was hurting as I spoke, a headache was building in my temples as I fought back tears of both sorrow and frustration. "I have to pretend that I don't know the truth when there is a high chance I could be next."

"You won't be."

"But how do you know for certain?" I hadn't intended for my voice to go as shrill at the end of my sentence, but it was the only way I could manage to force it out before I broke down crying.

It had been a while since I had last cried this hard and I knew that I would feel better for it in the end, but breaking down like this made me feel ridiculous.

As I buried my face in my hands, Robert wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest, one hand resting in my hair while the other rubbed my back.

"Lucille won't kill you, you won't be next, I promise."

I couldn't reply, I could only sob and sniffle as I helped onto his vest tightly.

I knew that I wouldn't be next, I was going to make sure of that one way or another, not that I was thinking of telling him my plan on the off chance that Thomas was around.

"I promise, nothing will happen to you," he repeated.

"But I need to know," I finally managed to choke out, "do we, what we've done, mean anything to you?"

"Of course, it's all meant the world to me."

"So, it was you and not Thomas?"

He sighed and looked down at me, his expression soft and sincere.

"I cannot say whether he was there or not, but it was definitely me in control."

I looked up at him as he smiled down at me, a warm and genuine smile that eased my uncertainty just a little.

Though we still had a lot to work through.

"Okay," I nodded, "I trust you."

His smile widened and he pulled me closer again, resting his head atop mine.

"Good, because I love you and it'd kill me if you didn't."