the new you : grayson dolan

nine

blake

three months later, december eighteenth

Christmas break had just started and I took the first day off to binge watch cheesy Christmas movies. 

Late in the afternoon I peaked outside to see the ground was covered in snow. Ally was picking me up soon and we were heading over to the twins to watch even more Christmas movies. 

Speaking of the twins, Ally and Ethan finally started dating, I never thought Ethan would grow a pair and ask her but he finally did over Thanksgiving break. 

Me and Grayson have become really good friends but he still won't open up to me. He flirts with me a lot but neither of us will make the first move. I'm not sure what's going to happen between us but whatever does happen will happen, I'm not going to force anything. 

I sat on my bed waiting for Ally to arrive. I had on leggings, fuzzy socks, boots, and one of Grayson's old college sweatshirts. 

Ally texted me telling me she was here so I ran down stairs and out the door. The ride was obviously short and sweet and when we got there we walked right in. Ally headed to the basement, and I walked up stairs because that's where Grayson was. I walked into his room to find him on his phone. 

I jumped on his bed and laid on my stomach.

"Sup," he said not looking up from his phone

"Whatchya doin?" I asked

"Nothing," he said still not looking up from his phone.

"Oookayy, I can just leave if you aren't gonna talk to me," I said getting up

"No, no stay," he said worried, "Sorry I was just doing something." he finally put down his phone. 

"Well what do you want to do?" I asked playing with my sleeve. 

"I don't know, I'll do anything." 

"Okay, how about we talk about our feelings," I said. I had been trying to get him to open up to me but it hasn't really been working. 

"Blake, c'mon I really don't want to tell you yet, I'm sorry I'm just not ready."

"Okay, just please when you're ready just talk to me, I want to help."

"I promise I will."

"That's all I ask," I said moving to lay down next to him, "Now what do you want to watch?"

About half way through the movie I felt Grayson's eyes on me rather than the movie. Turning to look at him I said, "You know the movie is over there right," I gestured towards the TV.

Ignoring me he started to lean in. He paused just centimeters away from my face and his eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips. 

He slowly leaned in and our lips met. I was surprised at first but then started to kiss back and our lips moved in sync. 

He pulled away and I looked into his eyes. Expecting to see how I felt in his eyes, I saw something different, regret. 

The smile on my face was gone and I felt my body drain. 

"I shouldn't have done that," he said turning away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said getting up from next to him. I needed to get out of there. I ran out of his room ignoring him yelling for me and ran out the front door. I slammed it behind me to make sure he didn't follow me. I was dark out and the snow crunched beneath my boots.

It started to flurry out and I wanted to break down and cry, but I needed to get home. 

I texted Ally and told her I had to go and to not worry about me. 

I felt like such an idiot. I should've known better. I know it's not really his fault, he was still getting over what ever happened, but I got my hopes up and then I just got embarrassed. 

I got to my house and luckily no one was home. I closed the door and ran up into my room. I just sat on my bed for a second. I ripped off the his sweatshirt laying in just a sports bra. I pulled the covers over me and cried. 

After a while of crying I stopped and began to think.

I can't believe he kissed me

But he regretted it

I felt my eyes start to water up and a single tear fell down my cheek.