Throne of Glass and ACOTAR Crossover (complete)

Chapter 28 - Feyre

Tarquin is staring at me, distrust evident in his eyes. He's hiding it well, but he's terrified. I don't really blame him. If the situations were reversed I would be terrified as well. 

I can feel Rhys hand on my back, steadying me, giving me strength. He's all that's keeping me from collapsing into a sobbing ball on the floor. Him and the knowledge that the Summer Court is watching my every move. 

I can still feel lingering phantom pains from the book, barely a memory of the agony from before. I don't know what Aelin did to make the book release me, but I have to remember to thank her later. I'm not entirely sure that, given a few more minutes, the pain wouldn't have driven me insane. Or worse. 

"What!" Cressida's screeching pulls me out of my thoughts, "She can do what!" 

"She can use the book." Tarquin says, his eyes still glued on me. 

I look back at him, not letting myself flinch away. Despite being on the floor, tremors still running through my body, I have to give some indication of strength, or these people will beat me into the dust. 

Cressida stares at me to, then whispers something inaudible into Tarquin's ear, Tarquin turns and whispers something back. After my encounter with the book I don't have the strength to breach either of their mental walls, but from the set look on both their faces I can guess what it is that they're thinking. 

Finally Tarquin turns to Rhys, not me, and says "Rhysand let's think about this logically."

Rhys bares his teeth "Think about what logically, Tarquin? Fair warning, I would think long and hard about your answer."

Tarquin sighs. "She's dangerous. You know it too. And you have to way to be sure that she's really on your side! She's done this once before Rhysand, gotten ... close, with a High Lord. There's no way of knowing if it's you she loves, or the power. We have to be safe about this."

I snort. I don't mean to, but I do. "You're being ridiculous Tarquin." I say, to keep Rhys from saying or doing anything more than anything else. 

Tarquin turns and glares at me. "I'm not. I've know people like you before. You don't like the man, you like the power and the attention and the luxury. You say you're not a whore, but you are. You're the biggest whore of them all. The only difference, you've convinced Rhysand here that he isn't paying."

The words hit me harder than I thought they would, and for a moment I'm left speechless. The venom, the malice behind Tarquin's speech is overwhelming, and I can feel it rising up and trying to engulf me. I can feel Rhys snarling behind me, ready to lash out and kill the High Lord of Summer where he stands, but I stop him with a quick look. 

I look at Tarquin. There's anger behind his eyes, and fear, but there's something else there as well. Uncertainty, and ... pain. 

Understanding hits me like a brick. Tarquin is in an impossible situation, a situation with two choices, two unbelievably hard choices. Kill me, or trust me. There is no in between, to middle ground. This time, it's black or white, dead or alive. 

He's trying to make himself believe that I am the power hungry little bitch who'll fuck anyone with power, because he wants it to be true. If it were true, then it would make his life, the choice he has to make, so much easier. It would be easier to convince himself to kill me if he were sure I was a threat, instead of so horribly uncertain. 

I feel sympathy bubble up inside of me. So instead of yelling at Tarquin, or fighting him, I rise gently to my feet. 

Immediately every person in the room tense's ready for a fight, but I raise my hands in a placating gesture, and walk slowly towards Tarquin. 

He doesn't attack me, but he doesn't let down his guard either. When I'm only a pace in front of him I say, my voice soft, "I will not give the book or its power to Hybern, Tarquin."

Tarquin replies, his voice equally soft, "Why should I trust you?"

I gulp, I knew it would probably come to this, but it's still terrifying. I reach out for his mind with mine, and gently coax my way through his shield. The effort make my knees tremble, and my vision swim, but it's necessary. 

Come with me I say into Tarquin's mind.

He doesn't seem overly surprised that I'm here, as though he had kind of already figured out that I'm daemati. 

He hesitates only briefly before allowing his conscience to follow me out of his mind, and into mine. 

Why are we here?  he asks.

I hesitate for a moment, then say 

So I can show you why you should trust me. 

Then I release my memories. 

I show him the hovel I used to live in as a mortal, the snow covered forest where I used to hunt. I show him the dead wolf, and Tamlin's first appearance in my life. I skim over the time in the manor, falling in love the with High Lord. Then I let him see under the mountain from my perspective, let him hear my neck snap. I bring him through the months afterwards, the months of wasting away in the spring court manor, dying slowly. Then I show him the Night Court. I show him Rhys holding my hair as I vomited, and teaching me how to read. I even, after a a moment's hesitation, show him Velaris, the Rainbow and starfall, the light and joy. In those memories, I let him feel my desperation to protect what is there. To keep it safe. Then I show it burning. I let him watch Hybern's attack, then skip to Hybern's palace, and my sister's heads being forced below the surface of the cauldron. I let him feel my agony, my hatred for Hybern. 

I show him everything. And when I'm done, I release his mind and let him return to his own body. Then I open my eyes. 

The room is silent, absolutely silent. I look to find Tarquin's eyes fixed on mine. "That is all I have."  I say, "It's up to you to trust me or not."

I'm about to turn away, but then, before so many sets of disbelieving eyes, the High Lord of the Summer Court bows to me. 

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